Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The provided graph illustrates the details about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020. The deatils of job availablility on manufucturing, reatil, agriculture and health sectors are illustrated in the provided graph reagrding to 1960 and 2020 in US.

First, demanded manufuctacturing jobs were fifteen millions in 1960, afterwards it expands to twenty millions in 1980. Furthermore, the jobs in that sector contracts between fifteen to twenty millions in 2000. Additionally the jobs in this sector again contracts to below of fifteen millions in 2020.

Afterwards, demanded retail sector jobs were more than five millions in 1960. While jobs for healthcare sector were below of five millions in 1960. After twenty years in 1980, on the one hand the jobs for retail sector expands to ten millions. On the other hand, the jobs for healthcare sector expands to five millions. On 2000 the jobs for retail sector expands to fifteen millions, while jobs for healthcare sector expands to more than ten millions. On 2020 jobs for both retail and healthcare expands to more than fifteen millions.

Furthore more about agriculture sector, the jobs gradually contracts. There were above of five million in 1960 that will contract more to below of five millions in 1980 then same till 2000. Afterwards again contract to more below than 2000 in 2020.

In conclusion, the number of jobs in all of these sectors are expanding or contracting regarding to their significance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph (manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture) across the given time period from 1960 to 2020. The student successfully identifies and reports the main features and trends, such as the peak and decline in manufacturing jobs, the continuous growth in retail and healthcare, and the gradual contraction in agriculture. However, there is a lack of an overview paragraph, which is essential for a Band 7 or higher in Academic Task 1. Furthermore, some data points are described with vague phrasing, such as "below of five millions" and "more below than 2000", rather than precise figures or clear approximations. While the core information is presented, the lack of an overarching summary and occasional inaccuracies in reporting specific trends keep this criterion at Band 5.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organised into paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for different sectors, and a brief concluding sentence. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive and mechanical transitional phrases, such as "First", "Afterwards", "Additionally", and "After twenty years in 1980, on the one hand... On the other hand". Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the paragraphing does not fully serve to structure the comparison logically. While the text is generally readable and follows a chronological path through the chart, the overuse of simple cohesive devices and the absence of a clear overall progression place this performance squarely at Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, relying heavily on terms like "jobs", "sector", "contracts", and "expands". There are also numerous spelling and word-form errors throughout the text, including "deatils", "availablility", "manufucturing" (along with "manufuctacturing" and "manufuctacturing"), "reatil", and "reagrdrg to". Phrasing such as "demanded manufacturing jobs" is unnatural. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic trends in the graph, the frequency of spelling errors and the lack of a wider lexical range restrict the score to Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and syntax is weak. There are frequent errors in prepositions and verb forms, such as "between fifteen to twenty millions" (instead of 'between fifteen and twenty millions'), "below of five millions", and "that will contract more to below of five millions in 1980 then same till 2000" (which mixes tenses inappropriately when describing past data). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical slips occur in almost every sentence, often causing strain for the reader. These persistent errors across both simple and complex structures reflect the descriptors for Band 5.0.

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