Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Economy is the Most Important Development of Every Countries. The Countries will be Represented Through its Economy.So, People Always chosen that Country whose Economy is on the Peak.

So,There are many industries and if you talking about the jobs market will be up and down according to the countries economy.If we talking about the Job Market of Retail, Manufacturing,Retail and the most important job industries that we never forget is Healthcare Industries.

In Earlier 1960s Jobs in Manufacturing goes higher at the top which is almost 15 millions Jobs in the Market. As Manufacturing is the biggest Economy of every Countries because of supply and chain business and according to this map chart of economy Manufacturing produced the jobs of 15 million.

On the Other hand, Retail words is belonging to the retailing. Its a very common words used in the open market of Manufacturing. So in 1960s-2020 there are 5 millions of jobs were alive in the Market.That is also a very good sign for the peoples to take advantage from the Open Market.

Healthcare is the most important and sensitive Sector of every economy .This sector plays a very vast role in the market of the US. Healthcare Jobs Market will grown up from the Scratch ang goes Higher and flips the competion with manufacturing anf Retails. If we talking about the sum of the number of jobs so its like goes around simething 15 Miilions Jobs which is very good signs.

Agriculture is basic need of every Country and If we are talks about US jobs open market So in number agriculture also enhanced the market and produces the jobs of around 15 Million and Same as the Other Market

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing various employment sectors such as manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture. However, the student fails to provide a proper overview or effectively report the main trends and comparisons across the 1960-2020 period. Much of the text is spent on irrelevant general statements about economies rather than data description. Data points are often inaccurate or poorly interpreted, such as stating that manufacturing produced '15 million jobs' constantly or that agriculture was around 15 million without properly capturing the changes over time shown in the graph. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, leading to a Band 4.5 score, rounded to 5.0 for positive marking of identified sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is divided into paragraphs, but the overall progression of ideas is disjointed and lacks a logical flow. The introduction focuses on irrelevant background commentary about countries and economies rather than introducing the graph. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as the repeated use of conversational framing phrases like 'If we talking about' and 'On the Other hand' which do not fit academic writing. Referencing is frequently unclear, and paragraphs contain isolated thoughts rather than a cohesive development of data. This places the response firmly within Band 4.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent word-choice errors and awkward collocations. Examples include 'Retail words is belonging to the retailing', 'jobs goes higher at the top', and 'flips the competion with manufacturing anf Retails'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'sensitive Sector' and 'competitive', but these are often misused. Spelling and morphological errors ('Miilions', 'peoples', 'ang') occur throughout the text, causing strain for the reader and fitting the Band 4.0 profile.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex constructions. There are persistent, severe errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation throughout the text. Examples include 'Economy is the Most Important Development of Every Countries', 'Jobs in Manufacturing goes higher', and 'Agriculture is basic need'. These frequent grammatical errors frequently distort meaning and impede communication, aligning with the Band 4.0 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.