Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph presents the information about the number of vacancies in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the job opportunities in the healthcare are rising tremendously in the past few years, by reaching at the same level as retail sector. The manufacturing sector has high job rates, although those can be seen as declining in the ending years.
At a glance, it is abundantly clear that in manufacturing sector, the number of jobs were 15 million in 1960, that peaked at 20 million in 1980. Afterwards they decreased continuously to approximately 14 million in 2020. The vacancies in retail were just above 5 million, and a significant rise can be viewed in the following years.
In healthcare sector, a three-fold increase can be seen as the jobs goes from 5 million in 1980 to above 15 million in 2020. Furthermore, the jobs in agriculture sector were approximately 6 million in 1960. However, after reducing to 1980 and reaching at 2 million approximately in 2020, it shows a great decline.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to report the main features and comparisons. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, mentioning the trends in healthcare and manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting specific data points and timeframes. For instance, the student states that the jobs in healthcare go from 5 million in 1980 to above 15 million in 2020, but the data points require careful handling of multiple lines. The general trends are identified, but some data support is imprecise or lacks full development, placing this response securely at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is arranged into logical paragraphs with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to different sectors. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'Overall', 'At a glance', and 'Furthermore'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or abrupt, such as 'Afterwards they decreased continuously' and 'after reducing to 1980'. Paragraphing is present and adequate for the task type, providing a coherent overall arrangement that allows the reader to follow the main trends easily.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for a Task 1 response, incorporating terms like 'vacancies', 'sector', 'fluctuate', and 'decline'. There are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'jobs in the healthcare are rising tremendously', 'reaching at the same level', and 'the number of jobs were', which show a lack of precision. Nevertheless, the vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate the main features of the graph without impeding the reader's understanding, earning a Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Although those can be seen as declining in the ending years' and 'after reducing to 1980 and reaching at 2 million approximately in 2020'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward prepositions throughout, including 'presents the information about', 'reaching at the same level', and 'the number of jobs were' (subject-verb agreement error). Despite these errors, meaning is generally clear and they rarely impede communication, which aligns well with the Band 6.0 descriptor.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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