Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph provides the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
The four sectors showed in graph are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Overall, the graph illustrates an upward trend for retail and healthcare sector. The manufacturing sector showed a downward trend in an increasing rate, while agriculture sector also showed a slight downward trend.
Healthcare sector showed a significant enhancement between 1960 to 2020, from being the lowest number of jobs in 1960 to reaching highest in 2020. Retail also showed a significant progress during the period, it grew with an increasing rate from 1960 to 2000 then showed little contraction in trend as compared to healthcare.
Manufacturing sector was the market leader in number of jobs in 1960 with 15 million jobs reaching to 20 million in 1980. However, the downfall in number of jobs in manufacturing sector started after 1980 whereas the significant rise in trend was noted in healthcare and retail sector during this period. The agriculture sector showed a slight decline from 1960 to 1980, then remained contant from 1980 to 2000 and then showed slight decrease from 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. An appropriate overview is provided in the second paragraph, capturing the overall upward trends for retail and healthcare, and the downward trends for manufacturing and agriculture. Key data points, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million jobs in 1980 and healthcare starting as the lowest and reaching the highest in 2020, are accurately reported to support the comparisons. The information is relevant and well-developed, meeting the requirements of a Band 7 response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response demonstrates clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information is logically divided into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'then'. However, there are minor cohesion and referencing flaws, such as missing articles ('showed in graph', 'healthcare sector') and slightly repetitive sentence structures at the beginning of paragraphs. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, resulting in a cohesive flow that aligns well with the Band 6 descriptor, pushing towards Band 7.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'enhancement', 'contraction', 'market leader', and 'downfall'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and missing articles (e.g., 'showed in graph' instead of 'shown in the graph', 'remaining contant' with a spelling typo). Despite these minor errors, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning without impeding communication. This sits comfortably within the Band 6 range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over past tense structures and comparative clauses (e.g., 'as compared to healthcare'). There are some grammatical errors, primarily missing articles ('the graph provides the information', 'in healthcare and retail sector') and a minor spelling error ('contant'). However, these errors are relatively infrequent and do not impede communication. The control of grammar and punctuation is generally solid, warranting a Band 6.5.
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