Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph depict about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clearly seen that healthcare sector grown consistently around the timeframe. Agriculture has been the lowest developing job sector and dropped significanlty around the period. Manufacturing which was at the peak has dipped at the end of the graph year.
One the one hand, healthcare sector dominates the time period with a yearly increment and holds almost 16 million jobs around 1960 to 2020. Agriculture from the starting has been the weak sector with less job stability and dropped around 6 million to 2 million at the end of year 2020.
On the other hand, manufacturing which started with a 15 million job employment has rose around its peak about 20 million around 1980 and dipped slightly around 17 million in 2000 and even more around 13 million in the year 2020. Next comes the retail job sector which is grown similiarly like the health sector started around 5 million and at the end of the year 2020 it is around 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response successfully covers all four sectors of the economy shown in the graph and makes relevant comparisons across the 1960-2020 timeframe. The introduction correctly identifies the visual, and the overview captures the main trends, such as the consistent growth of healthcare, the decline of agriculture, and the peak and drop in manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the precise data points (e.g., claiming healthcare holds 'almost 16 million jobs around 1960' when it started much lower, around 3-4 million). Despite minor generalisations and inaccuracies in data interpretation, the main features are adequately reported, satisfying the core requirements of Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into four paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, overall trend, and body paragraphs split by economic sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'One the one hand', and 'On the other hand' are employed to guide the reader through the text. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical, such as the awkward transition 'One the one hand' (with a typo) and repetitive phrasing at the beginning of sentences. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to structure the information, but overall progression can feel a bit disjointed due to phrasing issues.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items related to economic trends, such as 'consistently', 'increment', and 'employment'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'The graph depict about' instead of 'depicts', 'significanlty' (spelling error), 'has rose' instead of 'has risen', and 'simuliarly' instead of 'similarly'. These lexical errors and awkward formations limit the precision of the response, though the meaning remains generally clear throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses ('manufacturing which started with...') and participial phrases. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several structural and morphological errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('healthcare sector grown' instead of 'grew' or 'has grown'), missing prepositions ('in the us' not capitalised), incorrect verb forms ('has rose' instead of 'has risen'), and missing articles ('the healthcare sector'). These frequent errors require some effort to decode, though they do not completely impede communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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