Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart ilustrates the number of job in four different sectors of the economy on the United States between the year 1960 and 2020.
Overall, both retail and healthcare sectors gradaually rose without any fluctuation. On the the hand, manufacturing companies and agriculture sectors decline however, manufacturing increased for the first 2 decades and started to decrease rapidly.
People engaged in retail field were around 6 million and it soared up rapidly till the year 200 and was estimated around 15.1 million by the year 2020. Moreover, healthcare sectors also shows a rapid growth. The jobs was around 3 million and reach 15 million without any fluctuation by the end of the year 2020.
Manufacturing company rose till the year 1980. it was estimated around 15 million in 1960 and reach 20 million by the end of 1980. Manufacturing initiated to decline and reached around 14 million in 2020. In the year 1960, people engaged in agriculture were around 6 million. The job decreased with the passing time and was estimated around 0.2 million in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response successfully covers all major trends shown in the graph across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. You provided a clear overview in the second paragraph, highlighting that retail and healthcare rose steadily while manufacturing and agriculture experienced declines after initial periods. You also selected key data points, such as retail increasing from around 6 million to 15.1 million and agriculture falling to 0.2 million. However, there are minor inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, you mentioned that retail soared up rapidly till the year '200' instead of 2020, and you noted that healthcare rose without any fluctuation, which overlooks minor data movements. Furthermore, some comparisons between sectors could be sharper. These minor slips place your task achievement at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introductory paragraph, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs that detail the specific sectors. You use some cohesive devices appropriately, such as 'Overall', 'Moreover', and 'In the year 1960'. However, paragraphing and referencing sometimes feel a bit mechanical, and there are repetitive transitional patterns. For instance, starting multiple sentences with 'Manufacturing...' or 'The job...' disrupts the natural flow of information. Additionally, the phrase 'On the the hand' contains a typo and lacks smooth integration. Progression between ideas is generally clear, but the overall mechanical cohesion limits your score to Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, successfully using terms like 'sectors', 'economy', 'estimated', and 'fluctuation'. You attempt some less common vocabulary, such as 'soared up' and 'gradually rose'. However, there are several spelling and typographical errors, including 'ilustrates' instead of illustrates, 'gradaually' instead of gradually, and '200' instead of 2020. There are also awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'healthcare sectors also shows' (subject-verb agreement/pluralisation issue) and 'jobs was around' instead of 'number of jobs'. These errors occasionally impede communication or distract the reader, resulting in a Band 5.5 score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as subordinate clauses ('while manufacturing increased for the first 2 decades and started to decrease rapidly'). However, the text contains numerous grammatical and mechanical errors. There are spelling mistakes like 'ilustrates' and 'gradaually', punctuation and capitalization issues (e.g., lowercase 'it' at the start of a sentence in paragraph 4), and agreement errors such as 'The jobs was around' and 'healthcare sectors also shows'. While these errors do not completely obscure your message, they occur frequently enough to prevent the score from reaching Band 6.0. Therefore, a score of 5.5 is appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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