Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the graph illustrates number of people employed in four different of the economy:manufaturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020
Overall,it is clear that emloyment in four diffrent sectors of jobs had a significant change over the period. manufauring recorded the highest number of jobs throughout the period whlie agriculture had the lowest
Looking first at manufacturing started from 15 million job opportiunity in1960 till reaching to its peak around 20 in 1980.After that it fell considerably in 2000 and 2020 around 16 and 14 million employment.In addtion agriculture witness a dropped in 1980 from 6 to 4 million job .it remained stable and stood at 4 million in 2020 which was the least number of emplyoments throughout the period
Turning to Retail ,which was recorded 4 million jobs in 1960 and rose significaly reaching 15 million jobs and remained unchanged till 2020 .Furthermore,Healthcare started from 3 million and climbed to 15 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the prompt (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) and provides an overview with key trends and figures, such as manufacturing peaking around 1980 and agriculture dropping. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data and missing details regarding specific years or trends, which places it at a Band 6.0 level. For instance, the student states retail 'remained unchanged till 2020' and healthcare 'climbed to 15 million in 2020', but lacks deeper comparative analysis across the full timeline. To reach a higher band, the student should ensure greater precision when reporting data points and make more comprehensive comparisons between the sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, providing a coherent overall arrangement. The student uses basic cohesive devices and transitional markers such as 'Overall', 'Looking first at', 'After that', and 'Turning to Retail'. However, referencing and paragraphing are somewhat mechanical, and punctuation issues (such as missing spaces after commas and periods) disrupt smooth progression. Cohesive devices are occasionally imprecise or awkwardly integrated, reflecting Band 5.5 characteristics. To improve coherence, the student should refine sentence transitions, ensure proper spacing and punctuation, and group related data more logically to build a clearer overarching progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using sector-specific terms like 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare', as well as general economic terms like 'employed', 'jobs', and 'peak'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors ('manufaturing', 'emloyment', 'diffrent', 'manufauring', 'whlie', 'opportiunity', 'In addtion', 'witness', 'dropped', 'significaly', 'emplyoments') and awkward word choices like 'job opportiunity' instead of 'job opportunities'. These lexical inaccuracies and persistent spelling mistakes limit the score to a Band 5.5. Expanding precise vocabulary and proofreading for spelling would significantly elevate this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Overall, it is clear that employment in four different sectors of jobs had a significant change over the period.' However, grammatical control is weak due to frequent errors, including missing articles ('the graph illustrates number of people'), incorrect prepositions, and structural awkwardness ('manufacturing started from 15 million job opportunity in 1960 till reaching to its peak'). Punctuation and capitalization are also heavily flawed throughout the text. These frequent errors occasionally hinder readability, aligning the grammar with a Band 5.0 descriptor. The student needs to focus on sentence construction, article usage, and accurate verb tenses to improve.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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