Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph presents the data of employment in four sectors like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacture sector started giving the significant amounts of jobs which started from 15 millions. Agriculture and retail started from the same point though Agriculture failed constantly and retail rose magnificently. Healthcare sector went above surprisingly high which later matched with retail .
Manufacturing sector begun providing jobs to employee started from 15 millions which is the largest of all sector. It rose at 20 millions in 1980, then steadily got down at 16 millions approximately in 2000 and ended at 13 millions in 2020. Whereas in 1960, in the beginning agriculture started from 6 million jobs but it gradually declined over years. In 1980 and 2000, it remained the same which was around 4 millions. Lastly, in 2020 it declined more and ended up at 3 millions around.
On the other hand, 6 millions people got job in retail in 1960, then started increasing over decades. In 1980, the number reached at 10 millions, then 15 millions in 2000 and lastly ended up in 16 millions. Additionally, healthcare started from the lowest which is around 2.5 millions then rose above constantly and matched with retail in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features of the four sectors across the timeline and making relevant comparisons. You identified the starting and ending points for sectors such as manufacturing, agriculture, retail, and healthcare. However, the overview paragraph contains some inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, such as 'manufacture sector started giving the significant amounts of jobs' and 'Healthcare sector went above surprisingly high'. While all key trends are identified, the overall summary could be sharper and more precise to reach a higher band. Nevertheless, the main features are adequately reported.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, beginning with an introduction and overview, followed by body paragraphs detailing the specific trends. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different economic sectors. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition 'Whereas in 1960, in the beginning agriculture started...' is clumsy, and referencing is occasionally unclear. Cohesive devices are employed, but they are not always integrated smoothly into the text, resulting in a somewhat disjointed flow between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'magnificently', 'gradually declined', and 'fluctuated' (though not used). However, there are notable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacture sector' instead of 'manufacturing sector', 'giving the significant amounts of jobs', and 'got down'. Spelling and word-choice errors are present but they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on precise terminology for data description and accurate collocations related to economic trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Whereas in 1960, in the beginning agriculture started from 6 million jobs but it gradually declined over years.' However, there are frequent errors in grammar, prepositions, and verb forms, including 'begun providing jobs to employee started from', 'rose at 20 millions', and 'ended up at 3 millions around'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they demonstrate a lack of consistent control over complex structures, placing this response firmly in the band 5.5 to 6.0 range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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