Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The provided plot gives details regarding the amount of positions in four sectors comprising of Manufacturing, retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare of the economy in the US among 1960 and 2020.

To commence with, the most increasing fields are Retail and Healthcare, making it upto 15 millions since 1960 to 2020. As the most declining field is Agriculture which goes from 5 to almost nearby zero. And, another field experienced somewhat growth till 1980from 15 to 20 millions jobs, it came to nearby 15 in 2020.

Secondly, the most demanding vacancies had been in almost at some same position till 2020 which made upto nearby 15 millions.

Overall, it showed that the most amount of vacancies were in retail and healthcare. In

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under-length, containing only 121 words compared to the required 150-word minimum. This severely impacts Task Achievement, as the student cannot fully cover all parts of the task or present a complete overview. While the writer attempts to introduce the main sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare) and notes broad trends such as the rise in Retail and Healthcare and the decline in Agriculture, the information is partial, poorly developed, and trails off abruptly at the end ('In '). The lack of a completed response and insufficient data selection mean the key features are not adequately reported or compared.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response shows an attempt at organisation with basic transitional phrases like 'To commence with' and 'Secondly'. However, the overall progression breaks down quickly. The paragraphing is irregular, with incomplete sentences and a dangling preposition at the end of the text. Cohesive devices are used rather mechanically and inaccurately in places, and referencing is unclear—for instance, expressions like 'the most demanding vacancies had been in almost at some same position' lack clarity and logical continuity. Information is not arranged in a coherently managed framework that guides the reader effectively through the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical range is limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms such as 'plot', 'amount of positions', and 'fields', which show restricted vocabulary control. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'the most increasing fields' instead of 'the sectors that experienced the greatest growth' and 'upto 15 millions since 1960 to 2020'. Additionally, prepositional and numerical phrasing is imprecise ('from 15 to 20 millions jobs, it came to nearby 15'). While meaning can occasionally be gleaned, the vocabulary is barely adequate for an academic task of this nature.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammatical structures attempted are largely simple or faulty complex constructions. The student demonstrates frequent errors in grammar, tense usage, and prepositional phrasing, such as 'comprising of Manufacturing, retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare' and 'making it upto 15 millions'. There are also structural failures, such as incomplete sentences and abrupt breaks. While a few basic sentences are formed correctly, the high frequency of grammatical inaccuracies causes noticeable difficulty for the reader and prevents the response from achieving a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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