Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information regarding the number of employement in -Manufacturing, Retailing, Agriculturing, and Healthcare centers of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is vividly manifested that the manufacturing sector had accunted for the highest number of jobs. In contrast, retailing and healthcare experienced a steady increased throughout the span. while agriculture showed a downward trend until 2020.

In greater detail, the manufacturing sector had accounted for 15 million in 1960, which sharply increased to reached at peak for 20 million until 1980.In contrast, it steadily plummeted to 17 and following the same downward trend to reached at 13 million in 2020.

Retailing had the same number of manufacturing in 1960,which surge to 10 million by 1980.Subsequently,this flow was continued to reached at 15 million in 2000 and then the flow was slightly decreased but it reached to approximately 16 million by 2020.

Conversely, healthcare increased to 5 million by 1980 and followed the upward trend to 12 million by 2000 and it constantly reaching to level up the retailing sector by around 16 million by the end of 2020.

However, agriculture was 6 million ibn 1960,which went up to 3 million by 1980 and remained the same until 2000.A slight decreased by 2020 at around 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to report the main features and trends between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, highlighting that manufacturing accounted for the highest number of jobs while other sectors showed distinct trends. However, there are some data inaccuracies and unsupported statements. For example, the student states that agriculture 'went up to 3 million by 1980', whereas the graph shows it dropping from 6 million to around 3 or 4 million. Furthermore, some data points are slightly imprecise or confused, such as stating retailing had the same number of jobs as manufacturing in 1960 when the graph shows separate figures. These inaccuracies prevent the response from achieving a higher band, placing it at Band 5.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into paragraphs, starting with an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs detailing the trends. However, the logical progression is hindered by repetitive cohesive framing ('In contrast', 'Subsequently', 'Conversely') and mechanical transitions. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the ambiguous sentence structure in 'Retailing had the same number of manufacturing in 1960'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information lacks seamless flow. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes awkward or inaccurate, placing this criterion at a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'plummeted', 'fluently' (though misused), and sector names like 'manufacturing' and 'retailing'. However, there are numerous word formation and lexical errors, such as 'employement' instead of employment, 'Agriculturing' instead of agriculture, and 'accunted' instead of accounted. Phrases like 'reached at peak' and 'a slight decreased' also demonstrate weak control of collocations and word forms. These errors occasionally cause slight confusion for the reader, justifying a Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing time clauses and comparative structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are frequent errors in verb tense consistency, preposition usage, and infinitive constructions, such as 'increased to reached at peak', 'continued to reached at', and 'agriculture was 6 million ibn 1960,which went up to 3 million by 1980'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after periods and comma splices. Because these frequent errors cause difficulty and strain for the reader, a Band 5.0 is appropriate.

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