Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illuustrate the variety of jobs in multiple sectors of finance in the US. At a glance, agriculture has the least amount of jobs among others by the year 2020.
To begin with, manufacturing had the most number of jobs in the year 1960 and it kept fluctuating, but by the year 2020 it was around 13 jobs. Whereas, retail and agriculture both had around 6 jobs in the year 1960 but retail kept increasing to around 16 jobs by year 2020 and on the contrary agriculture kept decreasing to around 2 jobs by the year 2020. Furthermore, healthcare had the least amount of jobs at the beginning but it kept increasing to around 16 jobs by the year 2020.
To conclude, number of jobs in healthcare sector has increased exponentially.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the chart, mentioning sectors like manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. However, the overall word count of 132 words falls short of the mandatory 150-word minimum, which incurs a penalty under Task Achievement. Furthermore, the reporting of data is imprecise and lacks proper units (e.g., stating '13 jobs' instead of millions of jobs), and the overview provided in the introduction and conclusion is weak. To reach a higher band, the student must meet the word count requirement, include a clearer and more comprehensive overview of main trends, and use precise data points with correct units from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates some basic organisation, utilizing paragraphing to separate the introduction, body details, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Whereas', and 'Furthermore' are attempted to link ideas, though they are somewhat mechanical. Logical progression is partially maintained when comparing retail and agriculture, but the lack of a strong overall overview and imprecise referencing slightly disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is used, but the individual paragraphs are very brief due to the under-length nature of the response. To improve, the student should ensure smoother transitions between sentences and develop ideas more fully within well-structured paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on simple terms like 'jobs', 'sectors', and 'amount'. There is a spelling error in the opening sentence ('illuustrate'), and the misuse of units (referring to millions of jobs simply as 'jobs', such as '13 jobs') demonstrates a lack of precision in describing statistical data. While the student attempts some economic sector terminology, the overall lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for the task. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms, use appropriate scaling vocabulary, and eliminate basic spelling and word-choice errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as the compound-complex sentence starting with 'Whereas, retail and agriculture both had...'. Grammatical control is generally acceptable for straightforward structures, and errors do not severely impede communication. However, there are minor awkwardness issues and repetitive sentence starters. Punctuation is mostly functional, though commas could be used more effectively to separate clauses. To improve, the student should focus on producing a wider variety of complex grammatical structures with greater accuracy and ensure error-free execution across a broader range of sentence types.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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