Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the following paragraph shows that figure about different catagories of jobs. There are four different catagories of jobs. Such as Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare jobs.

In 1960 paragraph shows that Manufacturing jobs produced economy at 15%.On the other hand retail jobs produced economy at above 5%.

Agriculture jobs produced economy at less than 5%.And the Healthcare jobs produced economy at 2%.

In 1980 paragraph shows that Manufacturing jobs produced economy at 20%.On the other hand retail jobs produced economy at above 10%.

Agriculture jobs produced economy at less than 4%.And the Healthcare jobs produced economy at 5%.

In 2000 paragraph shows that Manufacturing jobs produced economy at 17%.On the other hand retail jobs produced economy at above 15%.

Agriculture jobs produced economy at less than 4%.And the Healthcare jobs produced economy at 11%.

In 2020 paragraph shows that Manufacturing jobs produced economy at 13%.On the other hand retail jobs produced economy at above 16%.

Agriculture jobs produced economy at less than 3%.And the Healthcare jobs produced economy at 16%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to cover the main features of the graph by reporting data for four specific years: 1960, 1980, 2000, and 2020. However, the interpretation of the data is confused and inaccurate, as the student describes the percentages as having 'produced economy' rather than representing the proportion of jobs in each sector. Furthermore, there is a distinct lack of overall comparison or trend identification across the sixty-year period, which is essential for Academic Task 1. The response presents isolated data points rather than a well-synthesized summary. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, aligning with the Band 5 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is organized into distinct paragraphs by year, which provides a basic structural framework. However, the organizational progression is extremely repetitive, relying on nearly identical introductory clauses ('In [year] paragraph shows that...') and sentence patterns. Cohesive devices are minimal and mechanical, often misused or absent. There is a lack of effective referencing or transitional phrases to connect ideas across the text, resulting in a disjointed flow. This level of organization reflects Band 4 to 5 characteristics, leaning toward Band 5 due to the clear chronological paragraphing.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is extremely basic, repetitive, and heavily reliant on direct lifting or awkward phrasing from the prompt. Terms like 'catagories' (spelling error for 'categories') are misspelled, and the phrase 'produced economy' is used incorrectly throughout the response to describe percentage shares of jobs. There is no attempt to use less common lexical items or synonyms for key concepts like 'jobs', 'sectors', or 'percentage'. The limited range and recurring inaccuracies constrain the response to a Band 4.0 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting almost entirely of simple sentences with repetitive subject-verb-complement patterns (e.g., 'Agriculture jobs produced economy at less than 5%'). There are numerous punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after periods (e.g., '15%.On the other hand'), and spelling mistakes ('catagories'). While simple structures are sometimes accurate, the lack of complex sentence forms and the persistent mechanical errors place the grammar score at Band 4.0.

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