Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the numbers of jobs divided into four sectors of the economy-Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare-in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing and agriculture experienced a long term decline in jobs, while retail and healthcare showed a slight upward trajectory over the period.
In 1960, manufacturing was the largest employer among the four sectors, with approximately 15 million jobs. It showed a peaked in 1980 having 20 million jobs, however a decline trajectory was observed in the next 40 years period, reaching around 13 million in 2020. In contrast, agriculture started at over 5 million in 1960 and fell sharply to just under 2 million in 2020. Which was the lowest job category among the four sectors.
Looking at the data of healthcare stood at over 5 million in starting years, while it experienced a continuoes increase trend and reached 15 milion in 2000. Followed by healthcare was the most least on numbers in 1960, just 2 million and rose dramatically upto 10 million in 2000. However, both sectors overtooked manufacturing and reached 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The student successfully identifies all four economic sectors shown in the graph and outlines the overall trends over the sixty-year period. An appropriate overview is provided in the second paragraph, contrasting the declining sectors with the rising ones. Main features are reported, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture falling sharply. However, there are some minor data interpretation confusions in the final paragraph regarding retail and healthcare figures, and a minor typo ('manufacturing and agriculture' instead of 'manufacturing and agricultural sectors'). Despite these minor issues, all parts of the task are addressed well, earning a solid Band 7.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overview, and then supporting body paragraphs detailing specific data points. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'Overall', 'In contrast', and 'Looking at the data'. However, progression is occasionally hindered by clunky phrasing and referencing errors in the final paragraph, such as 'Followed by healthcare was the most least on numbers', which makes the comparison slightly confusing. Paragraphing is used appropriately, maintaining an overall coherent structure that warrants a Band 6.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully using terms like 'trajectory', 'decline', and 'fluctuate equivalents'. There are several lexical and collocation errors, such as 'It showed a peaked', 'decline trajectory', and 'continuoes increase trend', along with spelling errors like 'milion'. Furthermore, phrases like 'the most least on numbers' reflect unnatural phrasing. Although less common vocabulary is attempted, the inaccuracies prevent the score from reaching higher bands. This performance aligns with the Band 6.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as introductory prepositional phrases and relative clauses ('Which was the lowest job category'). However, there are notable grammatical errors throughout, including tense and verb-form misuse ('It showed a peaked', 'both sectors overtooked'), fragment sentences ('Which was the lowest job category...'), and missing articles. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the score from reaching Band 6.5. A Band 6.0 accurately reflects the balance of correct simple structures and flawed complex attempts.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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