Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given line graph illustrate informamation about the number of jobs i four diffrente sectore of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, given information shows jobs in four sector,it was manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare. Moreover, some line graph are increase rapidly and some are drametically dicrease.
To beign with, manufacturing start with 15 in year of 1960. After that, slightly increase and reach appoximately 20 and then drameticlly dicrease.In adition, manufacturing start with increaseing and then after year drameticlly down their economy. Next, was Retail start with 5 and rise their economy and reach up to 15. From the year 2000 to 2020 graph remain same.
Furthermore, agriculture start with 5 and then slightly down to the next year and remain same for the year of 2020. Additionally, Healthcare start with approximately 3 and then next year rech 5 and then raise rapidlly in the next years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the line graph showing job numbers in four US economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is attempted, mentioning the four sectors and general trends like increases and dramatic decreases. However, the reporting of specific data points is highly inaccurate and confused. For example, the student states 'manufacturing start with 15 in year of 1960', which misreads the visual data, and the descriptions of trends are vague and repetitive, such as 'drameticlly dicrease'. While all parts of the task are addressed to some extent, the lack of accurate data reporting and flawed overview place this performance within Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The text is organized into paragraphs with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to different sectors, fulfilling basic organizational requirements. However, the overall progression lacks clarity and logical flow due to disjointed phrasing and weak cohesive devices. Linkers like 'To beign with', 'In adition', and 'Furthermore' are used mechanically and often inaccurately. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it hard to follow which data points correspond to which years or sectors. This level of cohesive failure and lack of smooth progression aligns with a Band 5 descriptor.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare', but spelling errors are pervasive throughout the text ('informamation', 'diffrente', 'sectore', 'dicrease', 'beign', 'drameticlly', 'increaseing', 'appoximately', 'rech', 'rapidlly'). Word choice and collocation are also weak, showing a lack of control over standard descriptive verbs and adjectives. These frequent errors in spelling and word choice cause noticeable difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 4 criteria.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The student uses a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple, repetitive sentence stems such as '[Sector] start with [number]'. Attempts at complex or varied structures are largely absent. Errors in grammar, tense usage, and sentence construction are extremely frequent throughout the response, such as 'manufacturing start with increaseing and then after year drameticlly down their economy' and 'graph remain same'. These persistent structural errors and lack of error-free sentences restrict the grammar score to a Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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