Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates the million of jobs, in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020. The number of jobs Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare.
Overall, Healthcare and Retail experienced growth, on the other hand, Manufacturing and Agriculture declined. By 2020 Healthcare had become the largest employment sector, while Agriculture had the fewest workers.
In 1960 Manufacturing was the highest employment with 16 million jobs followed by agriculture 6 million jobs. While healthcare only two million jobs.
By 1980 manufacturing had 20 million jobs agriculture 3 million jobs and retail increase 10 million and healthcare 5 million after 1980.
In 2000 below falling to 9 million by 2020.
Agriculture was decreased retail grow around 14 million healthcare recorded to the fastest growth and becoming the largest employing center by the end of the period. In 2020 Retail and healthcare was increased. Manufacturing and agriculture was decreased in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, outlining trends for all four economic sectors from 1960 to 2020. There is a clear overview provided in the second paragraph stating that Healthcare and Retail grew while Manufacturing and Agriculture declined. However, the development of ideas in the body paragraphs is frequently disjointed, incomplete, or grammatically obscured (e.g., 'In 2000 below falling to 9 million by 2020'). Data points are sometimes misstated or confusingly linked, preventing a fully clear and seamless reporting of the visual information. Therefore, this performance aligns best with the Band 5 descriptors, as the task is addressed only partially with limited and under-developed detail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, including a brief introductory and overview structure. However, logical organization and progression are severely disrupted throughout the body paragraphs. Sentences such as 'While healthcare only two million jobs' and 'In 2000 below falling to 9 million by 2020' lack internal cohesion and fail to connect logically to surrounding data. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, and referencing is unclear, making it difficult to follow the chronological presentation of data. This reflects Band 4, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently, causing significant disruption to the reading flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The student uses a basic and repetitive vocabulary range relevant to the prompt, including terms such as 'jobs', 'sectors', 'economy', 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. There are frequent lexical limitations and word choice inaccuracies, such as 'employment with' instead of 'employment sector' and 'agriculture was decreased retail grow'. While the intended meaning can occasionally be discerned, the vocabulary is limited and mechanical, placing the response firmly at Band 4 due to basic and repetitive vocabulary usage that strains the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple, fragmented, or incomplete clauses. There are frequent, severe grammatical errors throughout the text, including missing verbs (e.g., 'While healthcare only two million jobs'), incorrect passive forms ('retail grow', 'Manufacturing and agriculture was decreased'), and incomplete sentence fragments ('In 2000 below falling to 9 million by 2020'). These errors occur in almost every sentence and frequently distort the meaning, which corresponds to the Band 4 descriptor where errors are frequent and constantly impede communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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