Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020. I will make the comparisons in four sectors jobs in millions.
In 1960 to 1980, the jobs of manufacturing sector had the highest at 20 million but the economy of the jobs slightly decreased approximately at 13 million in 2000 to 2020. the agriculture fields in jobs was dropped almost 6 million to 1 million in 1960 to 2020. however, the both healthcare sectors and retails in jobs was significantly increased at similar economy in us at 17 million 1960 to 2020.
overall, the number of jobs in two fields are similar at 17 million nearby in healthcare and retail as compare to other sectors manufacturing and agriculture decreased slightly in us year by year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the prompt by identifying some main sectors and figures, noting that manufacturing started highest at 20 million and decreased, while agriculture dropped. However, the response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, sitting at 143 words. Furthermore, the content suffers from inaccuracies and a lack of clear data reporting. For instance, stating that healthcare and retail increased to a 'similar economy in us at 17 million' misinterprets the graph trends and data points. The overview is weak and vague, and the inclusion of conversational meta-language ('I will make the comparisons') is inappropriate for an academic task. Therefore, the response falls into Band 5 due to under-length and limited, partially inaccurate development of key features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four short paragraphs, attempting an introduction, body, and overall summary. However, the logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and poor sentence structuring. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'In 1960 to 1980, the jobs of manufacturing sector had the highest' and 'however, the both healthcare sectors and retails in jobs was significantly increased'. Referencing is unclear, and paragraphing is basic, with the introduction consisting of two fragmented sentences including personal commentary. These issues place the response firmly at Band 5, as the overall arrangement shows some organisation, but cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student uses a limited range of vocabulary related to the economic sectors, such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, word choice and collocations are frequently unnatural or incorrect, such as 'the economy of the jobs', 'agriculture fields in jobs', and 'similar economy in us'. There are also awkward noun-phrase formations like 'both healthcare sectors and retails in jobs'. While the basic topic vocabulary is identifiable, the numerous lexical inaccuracies and repetitive use of simple terms restrict the score to Band 5, as the range is limited and noticeable errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. The student attempts a few complex sentences, but these are almost invariably flawed, as seen in 'the jobs of manufacturing sector had the highest at 20 million but the economy of the jobs slightly decreased'. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ('the both healthcare sectors and retails in jobs was significantly increased'), prepositions ('in 1960 to 1980'), and article usage. Punctuation and capitalization are also inconsistent, with missed capital letters at the beginning of sentences ('the agriculture fields' and 'overall'). These frequent grammatical errors place the response at Band 5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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