Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the trajectory of number of jobs across different areas of economy in US over 60 years timeframe, spanning from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is immediately apparent that ,while jobs for retailers and healthcare sector underwent an upward trajectory throughout the surveyed period.The figure for manufacturing jobs experienced a marked decline. Furthermore, agricultural jobs remained consistent most of the time .
Looking at the details in closer,In 1960 year the line for healthcare commenced at two million jobs before climbing steadily to reach a height of 16 million jobs in 2020. In sharp contrast,retailers also got escalate over the decade from 2 million to 16 million.
Conversely, a disparate trend was observed in manufacturer jobs. Its initial value stood at 15 million jobs in 1960 after which it plunged sharply to 13 million 2020 jobs. Subsequently, agricultural sector also got drop down from 5 million to 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and features of the four economic sectors shown in the graph. The overview clearly highlights the upward trends in healthcare and retail, the sharp decline in manufacturing, and the relative stability in agriculture. Key data points are selected and reported appropriately to support the response, such as healthcare and retail starting at 2 million and reaching 16 million in 2020. However, there are minor inaccuracies in reporting the details for the manufacturing sector, where the student states the final value was 13 million 2020 jobs rather than matching the visual data precisely. Despite this minor lapse, the overall task is covered well with a clear summary of the main features and comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, beginning with an introduction, moving to an overview paragraph, and then detailing specific data trends. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions and contrasts, such as 'Overall', 'Furthermore', and 'Conversely'. However, paragraphing and punctuation mechanics show notable flaws, such as missing spaces after periods and unnecessary commas before clauses, as seen in 'apparent that ,while jobs' and 'period.The figure'. Furthermore, the phrase 'Looking at the details in closer' is unnatural. These mechanical and referencing inconsistencies keep cohesion at a moderate level.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully employing terms such as 'trajectory', 'upward trajectory', 'marked decline', and 'disparate trend'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice, non-standard collocations, and misuse of lexical items. Examples include 'areas of economy', 'retailers also got escalate', 'manufacturer jobs' instead of manufacturing jobs, and 'agricultural sector also got drop down'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they reflect a limited control over less common lexical items, preventing the score from reaching higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'while jobs for retailers and healthcare sector underwent an upward trajectory throughout the surveyed period'. However, grammatical accuracy is hindered by frequent errors in preposition usage, articles, and word formation, such as 'number of jobs' missing an article ('the number of'), 'areas of economy in US', and awkward verb forms like 'got escalate' and 'got drop down'. Punctuation errors are also recurrent throughout the text. While meaning remains generally clear, the density of grammatical and mechanical errors places this response firmly in the mid-band range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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