Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart eliminates frequency of jobs across four sectors of the economy in US.In bar chart we have seen four jobs ups and down during 1960 to 2020.Four sectors which of jobs investing in millions are gradually changed amoung this period of time .In 1960 manufacturing was at highest about 15 million whereas healcare was 2 to 3 million.The other two were at same postion. In 1980 manufacturing was highest as compared to other fields but by time we have seen its decline.Retail and Healcare progress were becoming great till 2020, Agriculture and retaill were at the same point in 1960 about 6 million but gradually retail acheived 15 million where agricullture was at bottom in the whole bar chart .F
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the main features of the chart, mentioning manufacturing, healthcare, retail, and agriculture. However, the candidate fails to meet the minimum word length requirement of 150 words, writing only 122 words. Furthermore, the selection of data is somewhat vague and imprecise, using terms like 'about 15 million' or '2 to 3 million' without fully synthesising the overall trends across the entire 1960 to 2020 timeframe. Key comparisons are attempted, but the underdeveloped overview and failure to reach the required length limit the score to a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response lacks clear paragraphing, presenting most of the text as a single block interspersed with abrupt sentence boundaries and fragments, such as ending the text with an isolated 'F'. While there is a basic attempt to sequence events chronologically from 1960 to 1980 and 2020, cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, or misused, such as 'by time we have seen its decline'. There is no clear overall progression or logical structuring of ideas, resulting in a score of Band 4.0 for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'eliminates' instead of 'illustrates', 'healcare', 'amoung', 'postion', 'retaill', 'acheived', 'agricullture'). The candidate attempts some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'manufacturing', 'agriculture', and 'retail', but the limited range and noticeable errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and reflect a Band 4.0 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at more complex constructions are faulty or ungrammatical, such as 'In bar chart we have seen four jobs ups and down' and 'Four sectors which of jobs investing in millions are gradually changed amoung this period of time'. Frequent grammatical errors, missing articles, and incorrect prepositions impede clear communication throughout the text, corresponding to a Band 4.0 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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