Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of four economic sectors including manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the US over the period of 60 years.
Overall, it is clear that the number of jobs increased in most of the sectors in the US between 1960 to 2020. With the retail experiencing the most substantial growth. Meanwhile, healthcare showed steady growth. While the manufacturing sector slightly fluctuated throughout the period. Although, a dramatic decline was seen in agriculture.
In 1960, the number of jobs in retail was 6 million in 1960. Followed the next few years, this figure rose sharply, reaching to around 16 millions in 2020. Similarly, healthcare climbed at 3 million to 16 millions in the same period.
By contrast, the jobs in agriculture accounted for 15 million in 1960, before peaking at 20 millions in 1980, then dropped to 13 millions in 2020. Futhermore, the figure halved at 6 millions to 3 millions towards at the end of the period in the US economy sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the prompt well by identifying the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors. The overview correctly highlights the general upward trend for most sectors alongside the decline in agriculture and manufacturing's fluctuations. However, there are minor data inaccuracies in the body paragraphs; for example, retail started at around 6 million in 1960 rather than stating 'retail was 6 million in 1960', and some figures lack precise contextual grounding (e.g., healthcare climbing 'at 3 million to 16 millions'). Nevertheless, the key trends and comparisons are adequately presented and supported, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.5 or solid Band 6 performance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical paragraph structure, beginning with an introduction, moving to an overview paragraph, and then dividing data into logical groupings. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', and 'By contrast', which help structure the comparisons. However, cohesion is at times faulty or mechanical, as seen in fragmented sentence structures in the overview ('With the retail experiencing the most substantial growth') and awkward transitions in the body paragraphs ('Followed the next few years'). Paragraphing is present and appropriate, but referencing and logical flow could be smoother to achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors and trends such as 'substantial growth', 'steady growth', 'fluctuated', and 'dramatic decline'. There are, however, noticeable lexical and grammatical collocation errors and inaccuracies, such as 'retail was 6 million in 1960', 'healthcare climbed at 3 million', and 'the figure halved at 6 millions to 3 millions'. Additionally, plurals are misused in phrases like '16 millions' and '20 millions'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they restrict the lexical score to a Band 5.5 or 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing introductory clauses and comparative structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, particularly with preposition usage and sentence fragments. Examples include 'With the retail experiencing...', 'Followed the next few years, this figure rose sharply, reaching to around 16 millions', and 'towards at the end of the period'. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate weak control over complex structures, placing this criterion firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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