Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufecturing department starts from high level and peeked on high rate but slighhtly fell down at the end, bu healthcare retail department took start from very low jobs but gradully it goes to around 15 millions. Just agricultrual department just take least proportion.
Firstly, in 1960 healthcare department starts from nearly 2 to 3 millions jobs then dramatically increased and accounted to 15 millions in 2020, like wise retail sector took start from round about 6 millions and it also increasd year after year and take proportion of 15 to 16 millions in 2020.
On the other hand, it is incredible change took in manufecturaing department that took a huge impresivestart in 1960 from 15 millions butin 1980 after reaching at the peak about 20 millions it gradually decresed and reached to the 13 million s in 2020, likewise the agricultural sector stars from 6 millions and droped to 2 millions at the wend in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The candidate attempts to cover the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors: healthcare, retail, manufacturing, and agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the text states that manufacturing 'peeked on high rate' at around 20 millions in 1980, and healthcare and retail both reached 15 millions in 2020. While an overview is attempted, it is poorly articulated and hampered by expression issues. The response addresses the task partially, placing it at a Band 5.5 level. To improve, the candidate needs to carefully verify data points from the chart and ensure that the main trends and comparisons are presented with accurate figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is divided into paragraphs, starting with an introduction, followed by an overview and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is weak. Transition words like 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand' are used, but they are often mechanically applied or do not logically connect the ideas. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'it' or 'that' linking ideas awkwardly. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion requires better control. This aligns with a Band 5.0 descriptor, as the overall arrangement has some organization, but lacks a clear, fluid progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Vocabulary is limited and heavily impacted by spelling errors and awkward word choices. Examples include 'manufecturing', 'peeked', 'slighhtly', 'gradully', 'agricultrual', 'decresed', 'impresivestart', and 'droped'. The range is minimally adequate for conveying basic information about increases and decreases, but the frequency of spelling mistakes and inappropriate word forms ('department' instead of 'sector') impedes fluency and strains the reader. Consequently, a Band 5.0 is appropriate, reflecting a limited vocabulary with noticeable errors that cause difficulty.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response shows an attempt at complex sentences, but these are frequently faulty. Run-on sentences and comma splices are common, such as 'Just agricultrual department just take least proportion.' and '...manufacturing department that took a huge impresivestart in 1960 from 15 millions butin 1980 after reaching at the peak about 20 millions it gradually decresed and reached to the 13 million s in 2020'. Tense consistency is generally maintained around the past tense for historical data, but grammatical accuracy is low, with frequent errors in articles, prepositions, and clause structures. This matches the Band 5.0 profile.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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