Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph demonstrates the figurs of employment in four diffrent field of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that,Healthcare and retail sector was the highest.While, agriculture field recorded as lowest among all.Additionally, Manufacturing show some fluctuation.
According to graph, in 1960,manufacturing field had highest number of jobs at 15 million. later ,it was moderately increase and peaked about 20 million jobs by 1980.whereas, there had been drastically decreament for 40 years and stayed at 130million jobs in 2020.Moreover, by 1960, agriculture sector had only 6 miilion jobs which was fall down nearly 3 million jobs in 1980.it remain constant for 20 years at 3 miilion .Afterwards, it slightly dropped at 2 million jobs in 2020.
Furthermore,healthcare was the lowest in1960 approximately 2 million and retail sector was 6 million in 1960.there was plunged in retail sector wich was reached at 150millionjobs in 2000.
and remain steady for remaining
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, identifying sectors such as manufacturing, agriculture, healthcare, and retail across the years. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and interpretation. For instance, the student states that manufacturing stayed at '130million jobs in 2020' and retail reached '150millionjobs', which are unrealistic figures given the scale of US employment and the prompt. Furthermore, the overview is vague and contains inaccurate summaries, stating 'Healthcare and retail sector was the highest' while missing key comparative trends over the whole period. Because the data reporting contains severe factual distortions regarding the numbers shown on the graph, the task response is limited.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organization and logical progression are weak. The introduction is very brief, and the body paragraphs lack clear progression. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'According to graph, in 1960' and 'later ,it was moderately increase'. Paragraphing is attempted, but sentences often feel disjointed and abrupt, leading to a mechanical flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the final sentence is incomplete ('and remain steady for remaining'), which disrupts the cohesion significantly.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary range is limited and basic. The student makes numerous spelling errors throughout the text, including 'figurs', 'diffrent', 'show' instead of 'showed', 'decreament', 'miilion', and 'wich'. There are also awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'agriculture field recorded as lowest' and 'drastically decreament'. While the writer attempts some topic-specific vocabulary related to economic sectors, the high frequency of spelling and word-formation errors restricts the lexical score to this level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors. Many sentences contain tense and verb-form mistakes, such as 'it was moderately increase', 'manufacturing field had highest number', 'which was fall down', and 'it slightly dropped at 2 million jobs'. Punctuation and spacing are also poorly managed, with multiple missing spaces after commas and periods. Simple sentences are handled with difficulty, and attempts at more complex structures frequently result in ungrammatical formulations that require the reader to decode the intended meaning.
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