Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US namely as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare over a sixty year period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, number of jobs in three sector such as Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare showed a upward trend. While Retail represented a most significant job of the economy in the US. Moreover, Healthcare sector remained relatively stable despite minor fluctuation.

Looking at the details, in 1960, Manufacturing represented the highest number of jobs at 15 millions. It then fell steadily to reach at 12 millions in 2020. While in 1960, Retail showed the number of jobs at 6 millions. It then rose steadily to reach at 16 millions in 2020. Futhermore, in 1960, Agriculture represented the number of jobs at 6 millions and fell steadily to reach at 2 millions in 2020.

In contrast, in 1960, Healthcare accounted to the number of jobs at 2 millions. It then rose steadily to reach at 16 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare) and provides a clear overview of the general trends between 1960 and 2020. Key features, such as Manufacturing starting the highest and falling while Healthcare and Retail rose significantly, are correctly highlighted. Data points are cited to support the descriptions, for instance, noting Manufacturing fell to 12 million in 2020. However, there are some minor data inaccuracies and over-generalizations in the body paragraphs; for example, stating that Retail represented the most significant job of the economy in 1960 when it was actually Manufacturing that started highest at 15 million. Despite these minor discrepancies, the main trends and comparisons are successfully reported. This performance aligns well with Band 6.0 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is structured into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs, demonstrating a logical overall arrangement. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different aspects of the visual data. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'Overall', 'Looking at the details', and 'In contrast'. However, cohesion is occasionally faulty or mechanical due to repetitive sentence openings, such as starting multiple consecutive sentences with 'It then rose steadily to reach at...'. Furthermore, referencing and logical progression could be smoother. These characteristics reflect a typical Band 6 performance for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for describing economic graphs, such as 'sector', 'upward trend', 'stable', 'fluctuation', and 'rose steadily'. However, there are noticeable lexical and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'namely as' instead of 'namely', 'three sector' instead of 'three sectors', and 'accounted to' instead of 'accounted for'. Furthermore, prepositional errors like 'reach at' instead of simply 'reach' or 'reach a figure of' occur frequently. While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points, the errors prevent the response from achieving a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures with 'while' and relative clauses. There are, however, frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('number of jobs in three sector', 'represented a most significant job') and prepositions ('reach at 12 millions'). The pluralization of numbers ('15 millions', '6 millions') is also incorrect. Despite these errors, meaning is generally clear and communication is rarely impeded. The control of grammar corresponds to a Band 5.5 descriptor level, balancing some successful complex structures against persistent inaccurate patterns.

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