Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar chart illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, after examining the graph it is noticeable that the jobs in retail and healthcare sector increased dramatically. whereas, number of jobs in agriculture sector experiance fluctuation.
To begin with, number of jobs in manufacturing was increased in starting year which was 20million before experiancing decreament. After it further decreased and felt to 11 million in the year 2020. However, the number of jobs in retail sector increased in starting years which was 5 million and after it saw a significant rise and rose to its summit which was 15 million.
Furthermore, There was a slight drop in number of jobs in agriculture in the year 1980 and after it flucauted in upcoming years. although, the number of jobs in healthcare sector showed an upward trend in the starting years which was 5million and after a decade it further increased and reach to it highest point in the year 2020 which was 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task by addressing the four sectors and making general comparisons. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, which correctly identifies key trends such as the dramatic increase in retail and healthcare and fluctuations in agriculture. However, some data points are slightly inaccurate or confusingly presented, such as claiming manufacturing started at 20 million when the chart displays figures differently, and the structuring of the overview separates the dependent clause with a full stop ('...healthcare sector increased dramatically. whereas, number of jobs...'). Despite these minor issues, the main features are successfully reported and contrasted, fulfilling the requirements for a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall arrangement and is divided into logical paragraphs with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'Furthermore'. However, paragraphing and punctuation mechanics are sometimes faulty, most notably in the second paragraph where a sentence is incorrectly fragmented ('...healthcare sector increased dramatically. whereas, number of jobs...'). Additionally, referencing and logical flow between some sentences are occasionally mechanical. Overall, the coherence meets the criteria for Band 6.0 due to the clear structure despite mechanical referencing issues.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for a data task, using terms such as 'dramatic', 'fluctuation', 'significant rise', 'summit', and 'upward trend'. However, there are notable word choice and spelling inaccuracies throughout the text, including 'experiance' instead of experience, 'decreament' instead of decrease, 'felt' instead of fell, and 'flucauted' instead of fluctuated. While these errors do not impede communication, they reflect a limited control of less common lexical items, placing the response firmly at Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating clauses introduced by 'which' and 'although'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are missing articles ('in starting year', 'in starting years'), incorrect prepositions, and structural errors, such as starting a sentence with a lowercase letter ('Furthermore, There was...') and fragmenting dependent clauses with full stops. While the meaning remains mostly clear and communication is not seriously impeded, the frequency of grammatical errors prevents the response from reaching Band 6.0, making Band 5.5 a more accurate reflection.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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