Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph tracks the changes in the number of jobs in four major sectors of the economy in the US during the span of 60 years. Those four sectors include manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.
We can see a significant surge in jobs in the sectors of healthcare and retail. In 1960, healthcare had only 2 million jobs available whereas retail started from 7 million jobs rising upto 2 million for each sector for the period of next 40 years, both reaching the peak of 16 million jobs in the year 2020.
As for manufacturing and agriculture, both showed a gradual decrease in their sectors. Agriculture starting from 7 million dropped to the nadir of 2 million in the year 2020. While, manufacturing had a good start of 15 million jobs in the year 1960 rocketing to 20 million in next 20 years, eventually shrinking to 13 million till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to report the main features and make comparisons. You successfully identify the overall trends, noting that healthcare and retail grew significantly while manufacturing and agriculture declined. However, the data reporting contains some confusing phrasing and inaccuracies, particularly in the description of retail and healthcare where you state 'rising upto 2 million for each sector for the period of next 40 years' which obscures the actual trajectory shown in the visual data. Additionally, the overview is somewhat embedded in the body paragraphs rather than being clearly presented as a distinct feature. Overall, the response addresses the prompt reasonably well, but the lack of clarity in data reporting prevents it from reaching a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response has a clear overall arrangement with a brief introductory sentence followed by body paragraphs grouping the rising and falling sectors logically. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'As for manufacturing and agriculture' and 'While'. However, paragraphing is somewhat underdeveloped, with the introduction and overview lumped together in a short paragraph, and the second body paragraph becoming quite dense and difficult to follow. Referencing is occasionally slightly unclear, and mechanical transitions are noticeable. Despite these flaws, the progression of information is generally comprehensible.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for this Task 1 response, using terms such as 'significant surge', 'gradual decrease', 'nadir', and 'shrinking'. There are, however, some noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations. For example, 'rising upto 2 million for each sector' is confusingly phrased, and 'manufacturing had a good start... rocketing to 20 million' uses slightly informal or inappropriate tone for an Academic task. Spelling is generally accurate, and vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main message, though control over less common items remains inconsistent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing introductory prepositional phrases ('In 1960', 'As for manufacturing') and participial modifiers ('rising upto 2 million', 'eventually shrinking'). There are several grammatical errors and punctuation awkwardness throughout the text, such as missing articles and slight run-on phrasing in the second paragraph ('whereas retail started from 7 million jobs rising upto 2 million...'). Nevertheless, these errors do not impede communication, and the reader can still follow the intended meaning without severe difficulty.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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