Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the country in the USA between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in the sectors of manufacturing and agriculture declined while the number of jobs in retail and healthcare was rose in that period.

In detail, the number of vacancies in manufacturing field was 15 million in 1960 and 5 million in agriculture. The number of jobs in manufacturing were reached at 20 million in 1980 while the jobs in agriculture sector were declined and remained just below than 5 million. There was a great decrease in manufacturing industry in between 1980 and 2020 from 20 million to approximately 15 million. Nevertheless, the number of jobs in agriculture sector remained stable in that period.

Jobs in healthcare department were approximately 2 million in 1960 and 5 million in the sector of retail. The number of jobs were increased from 2 million to 5 million in 1980 while the jobs market for retail had also grown from 5 million to 15 million. In addition to, healthcare and retail jobs were gradually increased at 15 million collectively in 2020. The jobs of agriculture and manufacturing sectors were accounted to decline in that period while for retail and healthcare its numbers increased.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully addresses the main features of the graph, providing an overview of the trends for all four sectors (manufacturing, agriculture, retail, and healthcare) between 1960 and 2020. Key data points are cited, such as the 15 million starting point for manufacturing and the rise of retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing jobs reached 20 million in 1980, which is accurate, but later states there was a decrease to approximately 15 million in 2020, whereas the graph shows manufacturing dropped significantly lower than that by 2020. Additionally, the overview contains a slight contradiction at the very end regarding retail and healthcare numbers. Despite these minor data interpretation errors, all parts of the prompt are covered, and relevant comparisons are made, placing this performance solidly at Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is arranged logically with an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs covering specific details. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'In detail', 'Nevertheless', and 'In addition to'. However, some cohesive links are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'In addition to, healthcare and retail jobs were gradually increased'. Furthermore, referencing and paragraph sequencing could be smoother, as the final paragraph mixes healthcare, retail, agriculture, and manufacturing data in a slightly repetitive manner, echoing points already made. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the body details, earning a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using sector-specific terms like 'manufacturing', 'agriculture', 'retail', and 'healthcare'. Phrases such as 'declined', 'remained stable', and 'great decrease' are used appropriately. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'the number of jobs in retail and healthcare was rose' (incorrect passive/active mix) and 'jobs market for retail had also grown'. Additionally, the repetitive use of simple vocabulary structures indicates a limited lexical flexibility, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptor where vocabulary is adequate for the task but contains noticeable inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like 'while the number of jobs... was rose' and 'The number of jobs in manufacturing were reached at 20 million'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and passive/active voice, such as 'was rose', 'were reached at', and 'were accounted to decline'. Preposition and article errors also occur, such as 'below than 5 million' and 'in manufacturing field'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from achieving a higher band, making Band 5.5 an appropriate score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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