Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates data on the number of jobs in four different areas of the economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, in the USA between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the retail and the healthcare sectors contained the highest amount of jobs by the end of the period, whereas manufacturing although had the largest initial number among others, its number declined by 2020.

At the beginning of the period, manufacturing accounted for the largest number of jobs among other sectors, its amount rose substantially to 20 million before decreasing sharply to almost 13% in 2020. The retail and agriculture sectors, though, started off from just over 5 million before

diverging. Notably, jobs in the sector retail increased drastically from almost 5 million to just over 15 million by 2020 while agriculture decreased significantly to 2% by the end of the period.

Notably, the number of jobs in the healthcare sector was approximately 2% and finished off at just over 15% ( the same number of jobs available for retail).

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The candidate successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview of the main trends and selecting key data points to report and compare across the four economy sectors between 1960 and 2020. The introduction accurately paraphrases the prompt, and the overview clearly captures the terminal status and major trajectory of the categories, noting that retail and healthcare finished highest while manufacturing declined. The body paragraphs correctly cite specific figures, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million before falling. However, there is a notable confusion regarding units and data representation in the final paragraphs; the student mixes absolute job numbers with percentages (e.g., stating manufacturing decreased to 'almost 13%' and agriculture and healthcare finished at '2%' and '15%'). Despite these data interpretation inaccuracies, the main features are sufficiently highlighted.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is organized into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overall summary, and two body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through the data, utilizing phrases such as 'Overall, it can be seen that', 'At the beginning of the period', and 'Notably'. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel slightly mechanical or awkward, such as the transitional sentence 'manufacturing although had the largest initial number among others, its number declined', which displays faulty subordination. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate general trends from specific sectoral developments, ensuring an overall coherent arrangement despite the minor syntactic friction.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The candidate demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating various reporting verbs and modifiers such as 'substantially', 'decreasing sharply', 'diverging', and 'drastically'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with reasonable success, allowing the description of economic trends. However, there are noticeable limitations and occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'highest amount of jobs' instead of 'greatest number of jobs' (as jobs are countable), and the unusual phrasing 'the sector retail'. Spelling is accurate throughout the text, but the imprecise handling of statistical terminology restricts the score to a solid Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordinate clauses and comparative structures. For instance, the opening sentence successfully employs a relative clause ('namely manufacturing...'). However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are noticeable errors in sentence structure, such as the dangling or poorly linked clause in 'whereas manufacturing although had the largest initial number among others, its number declined', which creates a run-on structure and grammatical confusion. Punctuation errors also appear, including an unspaced and unnecessary parenthesis '( the same number of jobs available for retail)'. While these errors do not severely impede overall communication, they prevent the script from achieving a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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