Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The chart depicts information of four defferent sectors of economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.
To summarize, the health care sector was booming from 1960 to 2020; it was started from somewhere around 2 million and gone up to 15 million. Moreover, in manufacturing sector was go repidly down from 1980 to 2020; in 1980 manufacturing sector was at 20 million and after downfall in 2020, it was gone nearly 13 million.
To commence with, manufacturing secotor at 15 million jobs in 1960 and gain good growth in 1980 when it was at 20 million, but after 2000 to till 2020 it was decreased and gone to around 13 million. furthermore, retail sector was also increased at good speed, in 1960 it was at close to 5 million , from 1980 to 2000 it gain around more 5 million, In 2020 it gone to more then 15 million. Addionally, health sector was gain highest numbers of job from 1960 to 2020 , it was sarted from lowest point between around 2-3 million and gone up to 15 million. moreover, agriculture depatment was really ery bed perfrom from 1960 to 2020 , it was started from close to 5 million and in 2020 it was repidly decreased time by time and gone to around 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four sectors between 1960 and 2020, such as the growth in health care and retail, and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data (for example, stating that manufacturing started at 15 million in 1960 when the typical chart data for this standard task shows it differently, or confusing the start and end points of trends). Furthermore, the overview is rather weak, placed at the beginning but lacking a clear summary of the overall picture. Key features are partially obscured by inaccurate data reporting and lack of precision, placing this performance at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response shows an attempt at paragraphing, but the structural organisation is flawed. The writer places a summary paragraph ('To summarize...') before the main body paragraphs ('To commence with...'), which disrupts the logical progression of an academic report. Cohesive devices are used, but they are frequently repetitive or mechanically applied (e.g., 'Moreover', 'furthermore', 'Additionally'). Referencing and transitions between ideas can be confusing, as seen in the overlapping and repetitive descriptions of the manufacturing and retail sectors. Overall organization is basic, earning a Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text (e.g., 'defferent', 'repidly', 'secotor', 'depatment', 'ery bed perfrom'). The writer attempts some less common vocabulary related to trends, such as 'booming' and 'downfall', but these are undermined by frequent inaccuracies and non-standard collocations like 'really ery bed perfrom'. The range is minimally adequate for conveying simple ideas, but the density of lexical errors restricts the score to Band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent errors in tense consistency, prepositions, and sentence construction (e.g., 'it was started from somewhere around 2 million and gone up to 15 million', 'from 1980 to 2000 it gain around more 5 million', 'it was repidly decreased time by time'). Punctuation is also misused with erratic comma splices and spaces before punctuation marks. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 4.0 descriptors closely.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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