Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this graph sw see the information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of Economy in US around 1960 to 2o2o.

In 1960, healthcare jobs around 2.5 millions and they were rising in the other years like 1980 they cross 5 million and futher 2000 they touch the 10 millions. they end in 2020 around 15 millions.

And the manufacturing jobs 15 millions in 1960, then they touch the top of the 20 millions in 1980. Afterthat, they were decline 17 millions in the year of 2000. then they were around 13 millions in 2020.

On the second last job is retail, retail jobs decline in 1960 aroud 6 millions and then they were growth in 1980 and 2000.

Agriculture same as retail jobs 6 millions in 1960. After that year they were mostly deline 4 millions in 1980 as same in year 2000 at the end cross the 3 millions in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four economic sectors shown in the graph between 1960 and 2020. Key figures and endpoints are mentioned, such as healthcare rising to around 15 million and manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining. However, the data points are occasionally imprecise or poorly expressed, such as saying 'healthcare jobs around 2.5 millions' without a verb, and retail/agriculture trends are confusingly described (e.g. 'retail jobs decline in 1960 aroud 6 millions'). While all sectors are touched upon, the lack of a clear overview and the vague reporting place this response at Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is organised into short paragraphs, each generally dedicated to a different sector. However, there is no overall introduction or summary statement, and the progression of ideas is disjointed. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, with repetitive sentence starters like 'In 1960', 'Afterthat', and 'then they were'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult to follow the relationships between data points. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow is weak. This corresponds to a Band 5.0 for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple verbs and nouns such as 'jobs', 'millions', 'rise', 'decline', and 'touch'. There are numerous lexical inaccuracies and missing words, such as 'Economy in US around 1960 to 2o2o' and 'they were growth'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic numerical information, but noticeable errors in word choice and formation restrict the score to Band 4.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response shows a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences are simple or poorly constructed attempts at complex forms that lack necessary verbs, prepositions, or auxiliary verbs (e.g., 'healthcare jobs around 2.5 millions and they were rising' and 'they mostly deline 4 millions'). Errors in tense usage, word order, and basic sentence construction are frequent and pervasive, often causing difficulty for the reader. This performance aligns with the Band 4.0 descriptors.

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