Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs accross four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector shows a great start before it overtake by retail and healthcare sectors. Agriculture sector show a decrease throughout that period ,which is marked as lowest.
At the first look, manufacturing sectors recorded the highest with 15 million job in 1960 and keep a signifcant rise up to 20 million in the 1980 , before it face a remarkable downfall from 20 million to almost 13 million in 2020. Moreover,the Agriculture sector faced an up going decrease from approxiamtely 6 million in 1960 down to 3 million in 1980 ,and keep consistently shrink to almost 2 millions.
In the other hand , healthcare and retail sectors experienced substantial growth. Healthcare sector start the lowest of all with almost 2 million jobs in 1960 to overtake manufacturing sector and reach more than 15 million jobs in 2020 , followed by retail sector which start with almost 6 million job and increased moderately throughtout that period to reach more than 15 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors over the sixty-year period. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, capturing the overall trends such as the rise of retail and healthcare and the decline of agriculture. Key data points are correctly identified, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare reaching over 15 million in 2020. However, there are minor numerical inaccuracies and typos, such as stating agriculture 'keep consistently shrink to almost 2 millions' instead of accurately tracking its decline, and minor grammatical friction in data reporting. Overall, the response covers all necessary visual data adequately and presents a clear summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized logically into four paragraphs, following a standard academic structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices and transition signals are used throughout, such as 'Overall', 'At the first look', 'Moreover', and 'In the other hand'. However, some cohesive links are slightly unnatural or contain mechanical errors, such as 'In the other hand' instead of 'On the other hand'. Paragraphing is handled well, dividing the manufacturing and agriculture sectors from healthcare and retail, ensuring clear overall progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for a task 1 response, using appropriate terms related to data trends such as 'sector', 'fluctuate', 'downfall', 'substantial growth', and 'moderate increase'. There are, however, a few spelling and word-choice errors, including 'accross', 'approxiamtely', and 'up going decrease'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with mixed success, but communication is never impeded. To reach a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate more precision in collocations and eliminate basic spelling slips.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and subordinate structures such as 'before it overtake by retail and healthcare sectors' and 'which is marked as lowest'. However, control over verb tenses and agreement is inconsistent, with frequent errors such as 'it overtake' (instead of was overtaken), 'Agriculture sector show' (missing article and tense agreement), and missing third-person singular markers ('sector start'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical slips in verb forms reduce the proportion of error-free sentences.
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