Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the rate of four different fields of employment(agriculture , health care,retail, manufacturing) in terms of millions between the year 1960 and 2020 in the usa. overall, the healthcare and retail has larger proportion among other sectors.meanwhile the agricultural has least category.
Firstly, The healthcare department and retail was surged from 5.5 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020. on the other hand manufacturing sector started from 15 million in the year 1960 which was the highest among others nevertheless due to it had fluctuations over the years before reaching to10.5 million in the year 2020, as a result it registered as the second highest job sector.
The agricultural jobs was extremely low compared to other sectors which started from 5.5 million in the year 1960 and drastically declined over the years before falling to 0.5 million in the year 2020 leading to accounting the least category among others.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the prompt by summarising data from the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For example, the student claims that healthcare and retail 'was surged from 5.5 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020', whereas the chart shows distinct trajectories (healthcare started around 2 million and rose to 16 million, while retail started at 6 million and reached 16 million). Furthermore, the manufacturing sector in 2020 is misstated as 10.5 million (actual is around 13 million). The overview is very basic and mentions retail and healthcare having a 'larger proportion' without fully capturing the main trends. This puts the task achievement at a Band 5.0 level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is divided into three paragraphs, providing a basic structure with an introduction and body paragraphs. However, logical progression is hindered by poor referencing and cohesion. Transitional phrases like 'Firstly' and 'on the other hand' are used, but sentences within paragraphs are often run-on or awkwardly linked, such as 'nevertheless due to it had fluctuations'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the overall mechanical cohesion and faulty referencing mean the text sits comfortably at Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive ('sectors', 'jobs', 'million'). There are noticeable lexical and collocation errors, such as 'rate of four different fields of employment' instead of 'number of jobs', and 'agricultural has least category' instead of 'the agricultural sector accounted for the fewest jobs'. Word choice is frequently imprecise, and some terms are misused. This level of lexical control corresponds to a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences frequently result in serious errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the healthcare department and retail was surged') and ungrammatical dependent clauses ('due to it had fluctuations over the years before reaching to10.5 million'). Punctuation and capitalization are also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and spacing errors around punctuation marks. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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