Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Writing

Task 1

The line graph illustrates the information

about the Job market of US from

1960 to 2020 in four different domains

like manufacturing, retail, Agriculture and

the last one is healthcare.

In 1960 the 15 millions manufacturing

job is creating that is significantly increased up to 20 million in 1980. This was the highest sector jobs that was announced by the US and then gradually decreased.

When it comes to the retail sector at initial level it produced 6 million jobs in 1960 and then rise up and creates opportunities in retail domain

as much as they can. Due to fact that the healthcare and retail jobs are coincide with

each in the year of 2020.

At first health care to generate 0.2 million. Jobs in starting year but after that its graph is increasing and connect with the retail sector.

Agriculture market produced less jobs from all other sectors. In 1960 it can produced 6 milion job but after that their market is goes down slowly and create 0.3 million jobs in 2020 which is significantly a low figure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to report the main features of the line graph, identifying the four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) and mentioning some key data points, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and the intersection of retail and healthcare in 2020. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reading the data, particularly regarding the starting figures for healthcare (reported as 0.2 million instead of 2 million) and agriculture in 2020 (reported as 0.3 million instead of 2 million). Furthermore, the overview is weak, and the response lacks a clear, cohesive summary of the overall trends. The development of ideas is limited due to these inaccurate data citations and a somewhat fragmented approach to reporting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers from a lack of proper paragraphing, presented mostly as a single block of text with only broken line beginnings, which impairs the logical flow. While the student attempts to transition between ideas using phrases like 'When it comes to the retail sector' and 'At first health care', the overall organizational structure is weak and lacks a clear progression. Referencing and cohesive devices are frequently mechanical or misused, such as 'the last one is healthcare' in the introduction or 'Due to fact that... coincide with each in the year of 2020', which creates confusion for the reader regarding how the ideas connect.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The lexical range is limited and repetitive, with frequent vocabulary and word-choice errors that occasionally hinder communication. Examples include awkward phrasing such as 'job market of US', 'job is creating', and 'sector jobs that was announced'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'significantly increased' and 'opportunities in retail domain', but these are often undermined by incorrect collocations or grammatical forms (e.g., 'market of US', 'agriculture market produced less jobs'). Spelling is generally acceptable, but overall word choice remains basic and inaccurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and awkward attempts at complex structures that are consistently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, missing articles, and subject-verb agreement issues. For instance, sentences like 'In 1960 the 15 millions manufacturing job is creating that is significantly increased' and 'In 1960 it can produced 6 milion job but after that their market is goes down slowly' demonstrate poor control over basic and complex grammar. Punctuation is also erratic, which frequently distracts the reader and distorts meaning.

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