Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE LINE GRAPH SHOWS NUMBER OF JOBS IN MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE SECTORS IN US FROM 1960 TO 2020.
OVERALL MANUFACTURING IS THE MOST CONTRIBUTED SECTOR IN BEGINNING HOWEVER BY HEALTHCARE AND RETAIL JOBS TOOK ITS PLACE BY THE END. WHEREAS AGRICULTURE IS THE LEAST CONTRIBUTED TO US ECONOMY.
AROUND 15 MILLION JOBS ARE IN MANUFACTURING SECTOR IN 1960, HOWEVER IT GRADUALLY DECREASED TO AROUND 13M BY 2020 BEFORE PEAKED TO 20 MILLION IN 1980. WHEREAS HEALTHCARE HAS LEAST EMPPLOYEES WITH ONLY 2 MILLION, HOWEVER IT SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASED TO OVER 15 MILLION JOBS BY 2020.
AGRICULTURE AND RETAIL SECTOR HAS AROUND 6 MILLION JOBS IN 1960. WHILE RETAIL SECTOR GRADUALLY INCREASED TO 10M JOBS IN NEXT 6 DECADES AGRICULTURAL JOBS HAS DECLINED AND REACHES BELOW 3 MILLION BY 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the four economic sectors and tracking their overall trends from 1960 to 2020. An overview is attempted, noting shifts in dominance, and key data points such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising to 16 million are reported. However, there are minor sequencing and data inaccuracies; for instance, the text states that manufacturing 'gradually decreased to around 13m by 2020 before peaked to 20 million in 1980', which presents the chronological events in reverse order. Furthermore, the word count is 130 words, falling short of the required 150-word minimum, which impacts the overall task completion. Consequently, the score is capped at Band 5.5 due to under-length and minor data reporting errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs, which provides a basic organisational structure. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information is somewhat confused by the chronological error regarding manufacturing. Cohesive devices such as 'however' and 'whereas' are used, but they are sometimes repetitive or mechanically applied. Referencing between sentences lacks smooth progression, making the overall flow choppy. There is an over-reliance on basic transition words. While the essay is readable and follows a logical sequence overall, the limitations in cohesion and paragraph development place it firmly in the Band 5.5 range.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, incorporating topic-specific terms such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choice, such as 'most contributed sector' instead of 'sector with the most jobs' or 'largest sector', and the spelling error 'EMPPLOYEES'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary like 'significantly increased', but the range remains limited and repetitive. Vocabulary errors do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student uses a mix of simple and compound-complex sentence forms, attempting contrastive structures with words like 'whereas'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are tense inconsistencies and structural errors, such as 'AROUND 15 MILLION JOBS ARE IN MANUFACTURING SECTOR IN 1960' (using present tense for past data) and 'AGRICULTURE AND RETAIL SECTOR HAS' (subject-verb agreement error with plural subjects). Punctuation is also problematic, as the entire text is written in uppercase letters. Because frequent grammatical and punctuation errors occur across a limited range of structures, a score of Band 5.0 is appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.