Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph illustrates employment in four major sectors in the US economy, for the time period 1960 to 2020. Jobs in the manufacturing and healthcare sectors declined over the time period; however, jobs in the retail and agriculture sectors increased.
In the manufacturing sector, there were 15 million jobs in 1960. During the whole given period, these jobs rose to 20 million in 1980, and then started declining till 2020. Employment in the healthcare department was at its highest in 1960, at more than 5 million, but since then they droped to less than 2 million in 2020.
Contrary to the previous two sectors, the jobs in the retail sector were initially just a margin above 5 million, but at the end of 2020, with a huge surge, those jobs reached more than 15 million. Similarly, the employment rate in the agricultural sector also witnessed an upward trend, and despite starting at the lowest, it reached more than 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The student attempts to address all parts of the task by outlining general trends and specific figures for the four sectors. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that manufacturing and healthcare sectors declined over the period, whereas healthcare actually experienced a massive increase from 2 million to 16 million jobs. Furthermore, the student claims that employment in the agricultural sector 'reached more than 15 million,' which contradicts the graph showing agriculture falling to 2 million by 2020. These severe misinterpretations of the visual data heavily impact the accuracy of the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into four paragraphs, including a clear introduction and logical grouping of sectors. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'however,' 'During the whole given period,' and 'Contrary to the previous two sectors.' Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, manufacturing/healthcare, and retail/agriculture. However, logical progression is undermined by the confusing and contradictory data reporting within the body paragraphs. While the structural framework demonstrates coherence, the factual errors disrupt the overall flow of information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary appropriate for a graph summary, incorporating terms such as 'illustrates,' 'employment,' 'declined,' 'surge,' and 'upward trend.' There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, but word choice errors and factual misunderstandings of the data lead to inappropriate terminology, such as confusing healthcare growth with a drop and misstating agricultural figures. Spelling is generally accurate, but lexical control is compromised by the inaccurate reporting of the economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Jobs in the manufacturing and healthcare sectors declined over the time period; however, jobs in the retail and agriculture sectors increased.' There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'these jobs rose to 20 million in 1980, and then started declining till 2020,' 'healthcare department was at its highest in 1960, at more than 5 million, but since then they droped,' and 'just a margin above.' These errors, while not completely impeding communication, occur frequently enough to restrict the score.
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