Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph is showing four sectors of jobs in the economy in th US. This includes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Now let's discuss trends from 1960 to 2020.
15 million jobs were given or available in 1960 in manufacturing sector and by 1980 the jobs increased to 20 million. But due to whatsoever reason the jobs declined from 20 million to 16-17 million. Later in 2020 the jobs declined even more to to between 13-14 million.
Now futhermore, if we discuss about the jobs in retail sector in 1960 they are at 6 million and by 1980 the jobs boomed at 10 million. As compared to the 90s the jobs in 2000 are at 15 million and around 16 million in 2020.
Moving on to jobs in agriculture, in 1960 they were zround 6 million but in the coming years they started to decrease, In 1980 they were less than 5 million, this trend followed till 2000s and then kept declining. Talking about the healthcare sector,the trends shown in the graph are doing great. the jobs were less than 5 million but kept on increasing. from 5 million in 1980 to 11 million in 2000 and then around 15 million in 2020. If we compare the four sectors in the graph the retail and healthcare sectore did great in rising up the numbers as compared to manufacturing and agriculture. Infact the jobs in agriculture and manufacturing have been declining for various reasons.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student has attempted to cover all four sectors across the given period, reporting key data points such as the 1960 and 2020 figures for manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. However, the response lacks a formal overview, which is essential for Band 6 and above in Academic Task 1. Furthermore, the tone is overly conversational and informal, featuring phrases like 'Now let's discuss trends' and 'due to whatsoever reason,' which detracts from the academic register required. While the main trends are identified, the lack of an overarching summary and the inclusion of conversational filler prevent the response from achieving a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into multiple paragraphs, but the paragraphing is somewhat irregular and conversational. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moving on to jobs in agriculture' and 'Talking about the healthcare sector,' but referencing and transitional links can be mechanical or abrupt. The lack of an introductory overview and conclusion means the overall progression lacks a polished, cohesive structure. However, there is a clear attempt to group information logically by sector, which maintains a coherent overall arrangement.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for describing economic sectors and trends, such as 'declined,' 'boomed,' and 'increasing.' However, there are numerous inappropriate lexical choices and informal expressions unsuited to an academic essay, such as 'doing great' and 'rising up the numbers.' Spelling and word formation are generally acceptable, but precision is lacking, resulting in occasional clumsy phrasing. The vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task but lacks the flexibility and stylistic awareness required for Band 7.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional-style framing ('if we discuss about the jobs...'). There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures, including prepositional errors ('discussed about') and run-on sentences punctuated incorrectly (e.g., 'healthcare sector,the trends shown...'). Punctuation and capitalization errors also appear ('th US', 'futhermore'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur with enough frequency to restrict the score to Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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