Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the main features about the number of jobs in the four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020. overall, the US economy experiences significant changes between 1960 and 2020. A major increase showed toward the healthcare sector, whereas a major decline occured toward the Agriculture sector. The Retail sector and the Healthcare sector remained stable at the end of the period, while the Manufacturing sector initially rose and then slightly decreased over the end of the period.

On the one hand, the Healthcare sector had fewer jobs at the start which was 2.5 million in 1960 and 16 million at the end of 2020. In contrast, the Agriculture sector had 6 million jobs at the start that reduced and ended at 2 million in 2020.

The Manufacturing sector initially had 15 million jobs then rose to 20 million in 1980. However, it slightly decreased 13 million in 2020. Finally, the Retail sector showed a significant growth over the period. At the start it had 6 million jobs that grew steadily and ended at 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features and trends across all four sectors between 1960 and 2020. You provided an overview with the opening statement and included specific data points to support your descriptions, such as mentioning the start and end figures for healthcare, agriculture, and retail. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, you state that the retail sector and healthcare sector remained stable at the end of the period, whereas the graph clearly shows both continuing to rise significantly up to 2020. Despite this minor misinterpretation, the overall response is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, earning a solid Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

Your writing demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical organization. The essay is divided into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs addressing different sectors. You make use of some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'On the one hand', 'In contrast', and 'Finally'. However, paragraphing could be slightly more polished, and some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Referencing and conjunctions are generally clear, though occasional clunky sentence integration appears, particularly in the introduction. Overall, the text is easy to follow and meets the requirements for a Band 6.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for this task, incorporating functional terms such as 'sector', 'decline', 'growth', and 'stable'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, though some word choices and collocations are slightly unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'occured' instead of 'occurred', and stating a major increase 'showed toward' rather than 'occurred in'. Spelling errors like 'occured' and capitalization issues like 'overall' at the beginning of a sentence detract slightly from precision. The lexical range is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly, supporting a Band 6.0 rating.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. For instance, you successfully employ relative clauses and contrastive structures like 'while the Manufacturing sector initially rose and then slightly decreased'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'The graph illustrates the main features about the number of jobs' (which should omit 'about') and missing prepositions or verbs like 'decreased 13 million' instead of 'decreased to 13 million'. Punctuation errors also occur, such as starting a sentence with a lowercase letter ('overall,'). These errors occasionally disrupt the flow but do not impede overall communication, placing your grammar at a Band 6.0.

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