Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of occupations-- manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare--in four different sectors of the economy in the US over the period of sixty decade [ between 1960 to 2020 ]. The data is represented in millions.

Overall, healthcare and retail job registered an upward trend , while manufacturing and agriculture followed an upward trend. By the end of the period, retail and heatlcare showed same numbers of jobs.

In 1960, number of healthcare jobs accounted for almost 3 million. Moreover, the retail jobs amounted to be just above 5 million. By 1980, retail occupation grew steadily and became almost double of its initial figure; whereas healthcare jobs rose slightly and reached 5 million. By the end of the period both retail and healthcare work demonstrated same figures[around 16 million].

It is clearly seen that, retail and agriculture depicted same figures in 1960; however both showed an opposite trend. Agriculture experienced downward trend and reached 3 million by 2020. Furthermore, manufacturing hit a peak of 20 million in 1980 just to fall back to almost 13 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student attempts to cover all sectors of the economy shown in the graph, reporting key data points and trends. However, there is a major contradiction in the overview paragraph where the writer states that manufacturing and agriculture followed an upward trend, whereas the data clearly shows both sectors experienced significant long-term declines. Furthermore, some data points are slightly inaccurate, such as stating healthcare jobs accounted for 'almost 3 million' in 1960 when the chart indicates 2 million, and claiming retail and agriculture depicted the same figures in 1960. Despite these inaccuracies and the oversight in the overview, the response does manage to highlight several key features and comparisons, such as manufacturing hitting a peak in 1980 and the convergence of retail and healthcare at the end of the period. This places the performance at Band 5.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is structured into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, providing a logical framework. Paragraphing is attempted appropriately to group related ideas. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition 'Moreover' is used inappropriately to introduce a numerical fact rather than an added supporting argument, and referencing is occasionally unclear. The overview paragraph is also poorly integrated and contains factual contradictions that disrupt the logical flow of information. While the overall arrangement is coherent enough to be followed without excessive difficulty, the mechanical use of cohesive devices and logical contradictions limit the score to a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'occupations', 'sector', 'upward trend', and 'fluctuated'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward expressions, such as 'sixty decade' instead of 'sixty-year period', 'heatlcare' (spelling error), and 'retail occupation' where 'retail sector' or 'retail jobs' would be more appropriate. Word choice errors like stating retail and healthcare 'demonstrated same figures' lack precision. Although these errors do not severely impede communication, they reflect a limited and occasionally inaccurate grasp of less common vocabulary, restricting the score to Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating structures such as 'whereas healthcare jobs rose slightly' and 'It is clearly seen that...'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several missing articles and pluralisation errors, such as 'healthcare and retail job registered' (instead of jobs) and 'number of healthcare jobs' lacking a determiner in places. Furthermore, there is a bracketed insertion [ between 1960 to 2020 ] which shows awkward drafting. While complex structures are attempted, frequent minor errors in grammar and punctuation persist, though they rarely impede overall communication. This places the response firmly at Band 6.0.

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