Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the changes of yearly jobs in four sectors. Namely Manufacturing , Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare.
Starting with manufacturing sector, initially it show little growth till 1980 after that it declines gradually.
Then Retail sector it demonstrates highly develop sector in all, it shows substantial increase in 1960 to 2000 then gradually in slows down till 2020 but still its highest of all.
Next is Agriculture sector , its fall down from 1960 to 1980 after that its still decreasing , and last healthcare sector, it was at lowest in 1960 after that its constantly rising which shoes considerable growth and currently healthcare and retail sector are at its peak
overall, the line graph demonstrates the number of jobs in millions in four sectors of the economy in the US in the time period of 6 decades. The healthcare and retail sectors top in the number of jobs in millions and the agriculture sectors seems little downward in graph.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main trends in all four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the overview placed at the end is weak and the reporting of specific data points is imprecise. For instance, stating that retail 'shows substantial increase in 1960 to 2000 then gradually in slows down till 2020' misses key numerical milestones shown in the chart. Furthermore, saying 'healthcare and retail sector are at its peak' is somewhat inaccurate for retail, which plateaued or slightly dipped depending on the reading, though healthcare did peak. The overview merely restates the prompt rather than giving a clear summary of the major trends. This places the response in the Band 5.0 range for Task Achievement as it addresses the task partially with some underdeveloped and vague comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The organization of the text is somewhat disjointed. The response uses basic sequencing phrases like 'Starting with manufacturing sector', 'Then Retail sector', and 'Next is Agriculture sector', but the paragraphing is extremely poor, with most of the text lumped into one long, run-on paragraph followed by a brief concluding sentence. Cohesive devices are handled rather mechanically and sometimes inappropriately, such as 'after that its still decreasing , and last healthcare sector'. The progression of ideas lacks smooth transitions, and referencing pronouns (like 'its' or 'it') are frequently ambiguous, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. This corresponds to a Band 5.0 for Coherence and Cohesion due to the lack of clear overall progression and inadequate paragraphing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple words like 'sector', 'growth', 'increase', and 'highest'. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'initially it show little growth', 'it demonstrates highly develop sector', and 'its fall down from 1960'. Spelling and word formation errors also appear, such as 'shoes' instead of 'shows' and missing prepositions. The range of vocabulary is limited and barely adequate to convey the data, restricting the score to a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The grammatical structures attempted are largely simple or faulty complex sentences. There are frequent errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation, such as 'Namely Manufacturing , Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare' (sentence fragment) and 'after that its constantly rising which shoes considerable growth'. Many sentences contain missing auxiliary verbs, incorrect verb forms ('its fall down'), and comma splices. The proportion of error-free sentences is very low, which impedes the clarity of the writing at times. This performance aligns with Band 5.0 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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