Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depicts the proportion of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the US during 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that in retail and healthcare sectors the proportion of jobs were saw a drastically increased over the years, whereas manufacturing and agriculture was decreased years by years.

At first glance, it is crystal clear that in 1960, 15 millions jobs availaible in manufacturing sectors which increased and reached upto 20 millions in 1980, while this figure felt down and in 2020 reached it to the lowest data that was less than 15 millions. Furthermore, in 1960, in retail sector the job was around 5 millions and this figure was upsurged years by year and accounted for 15 millions in 2020.

Glancing upon the remaining details, in agriculture the available job in 1960 was approximately 5 millions, whilst this figure felt down and recorded as 3 millions jobs in 1980 and this figure remained same in 2000 and then there was a small declined was recorded in job and it was less then 2 millions jobs. Meanwhile, in healthcare sector the job availability increased and in 2020 it was more then 15 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student attempts to cover all parts of the prompt by describing the overall trends and giving details for the four economic sectors. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, stating that retail and healthcare increased while manufacturing and agriculture decreased. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data: for instance, the student states that manufacturing jobs in 1960 were '15 millions', which is correct, but later claims the final 2020 figure was 'less than 15 millions' when the graph shows it at 13 millions. Furthermore, the student refers to 'proportion of jobs' rather than the absolute number in millions. The main features are identified, but the lack of precision in data reporting pulls the score down to Band 5.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized into four paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs covering the specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'At first glance', 'Furthermore', and 'Meanwhile' are used to connect ideas, though some are mechanical or overused. Paragraphing is adequate, but within paragraphs, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and run-on structures, such as in the third paragraph where multiple clauses are joined loosely with coordinating conjunctions. Overall arrangement is coherent, earning a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for a task 1 response, using words such as 'proportion', 'sector', 'upsurged', and 'declined'. However, there are frequent lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as 'availaible' (spelling error), 'felt down' (incorrect phrasal verb instead of 'fell'), 'reached it to the lowest data', and 'small declined was recorded'. The repeated confusion between verb and noun forms (e.g., 'a declined') and incorrect prepositions limit the score. The vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task, fitting Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting relative clauses and time markers. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are frequent errors in verb tense and agreement, such as 'proportion of jobs were saw a drastically increased' (severe grammatical mash-up), 'manufacturing and agriculture was decreased years by years', and 'the job was around 5 millions'. Punctuation and article usage also show frequent errors (e.g., 'in retail sector'). Because complex attempts are frequently faulty and errors cause some difficulty for the reader, a Band 5.0 is appropriate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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