Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four industries of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed the largest fluctuation, whilst the remaining two sectors, retail and healthcare, increased gradually and converged by 2020 with the same number of jobs, whereas the agriculture industry remained the lowest compared to all sectors.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector was the most popular in terms of jobs, accounting for 15 millions; moreover, it reached a peak of 20 millions by 1980 before declining to just below 15 millions, in 2020. At the beginning of the period, the agriculture industry commenced with just over 5 million jobs, which subsequently declined to just under 5 million jobs, by 1980. However, it hovered around this figure over the past two decade, and declined steadily to aapproximately, 2 millions.

Over the period, healthcare and retail industries experienced considerable rise through out the given period starting with around 6 and 2 million jobs respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task well, providing an overview and reporting the main trends and comparisons across the four sectors. Key features are accurately identified, such as the peak of manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and the convergence of retail and healthcare at 16 million by 2020. However, there are minor inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, the student states that manufacturing declined to 'just below 15 millions, in 2020', whereas the graph shows it at 13 million. Furthermore, in the third paragraph, the student mentions agriculture declined to 'just under 5 million jobs, by 1980' and 'hovered around this figure over the past two decade', which contradicts both the graph (which shows agriculture at 3 million in 1980 and 2000) and the subsequent statement that it declined to 2 million. Despite these minor discrepancies and slight over-generalizations, the response successfully addresses the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear overall progression. It begins with an introductory statement, moves to an effective overview paragraph, and then breaks down the specific data points in subsequent body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used appropriately to signal relationships between ideas, such as 'Overall', 'whilst', 'whereas', and 'However'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to group related information. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional mechanical transitions ('In 1960...', 'At the beginning of the period...', 'Over the period...') appear, and the grouping in the final paragraph could be smoother. Overall, the essay demonstrates a coherent structure that is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and functional language such as 'fluctuation', 'converged', 'commenced', and 'considerable rise'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, writing 'accounting for 15 millions' (omitting the noun or using plural incorrectly), spelling errors like 'aapproximately', and confusing phrasing such as 'over the past two decade' (plural agreement error). Despite these limitations and spelling lapses, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main message clearly without impeding communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating relative clauses and subordinate structures like 'whilst the remaining two sectors... increased gradually and converged... whereas the agriculture industry remained...' There are several grammatical errors present, particularly in punctuation, comma splices, and numerical phrasing (e.g., '15 millions', 'aapproximately, 2 millions', 'two decade'). Additionally, the final sentence mixes up the order and prepositions when introducing healthcare and retail ('healthcare and retail industries experienced considerable rise through out the given period starting with around 6 and 2 million jobs respectively', which incorrectly flips the starting values since healthcare started at 2 and retail at 6). While these errors occur, they do not severely impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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