Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph compares the number of jobs in millions, in four sectors of thr US economy , Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and healthcare between the timeline of 1960 to 2020

Overall manufacturing and agricultural saw a decline over the 60 year period while the sector of retail and healthcare experienced a significant growth .By 2020 retail and healthcare both, became the largest employment sector in 2020, overtaking manufacturing.

Manufacturing started at 15 million in 1960, Reached at 20 million in 1980,than declined to 13 million by 2020.

Healthcare had the lowest number of jobs approximately 3 milllion in 1960 and faced consistent upward trend ending up reaching to 16 million by 2020.

However agriculture was consistently the smallest sector starting at 6 million in 1960 which dropped to only 2 million over a time period of 60 years.

Retail started at only 6 million in 1960, faced an increase of 10 million in 19 80 overtaking the manufacturing sector reaching to 16 million in 2020.

IN conclusion the US job market shifted from manufacturing and agriculture to service based sectors like retail and healthcare over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview of the trends and reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. Key data points, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare/retail reaching 16 million by 2020, are correctly identified and compared. An overview is present at the end of the second paragraph and restated in the conclusion, capturing the shift from manufacturing and agriculture to services. However, there are minor inaccuracies in reading the data; for instance, healthcare in 1960 started closer to 2 million rather than 'approximately 3 million', and retail in 1980 was 10 million, not an 'increase of 10 million'. Despite these small misreadings, the response covers all criteria well and provides a clear summary with relevant comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs dedicated to specific groupings of trends, and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions and comparisons, such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'By 2020'. However, some cohesive ties and referencing are slightly mechanical or repetitive, and punctuation around linking words is occasionally erratic, such as missing commas or spacing issues (e.g., '19 80'). Progression is generally clear throughout the text, though transitions between the individual body sentences could flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully using terms like 'decline', 'significant growth', 'employment sector', and 'upward trend'. There are, however, several lexical and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'thr' instead of 'the', 'agricultural' instead of 'agriculture', and awkward phrasing like 'Reached at 20 million'. Less common lexical items are attempted, but collocational control is inconsistent. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the score from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and introductory prepositional phrases. There are, nevertheless, frequent grammatical and punctuation errors present in the text. Examples include tense inconsistencies and awkward verb forms, such as 'overall manufacturing and agricultural saw a decline', 'Reached at 20 million', and missing capitalization in 'IN conclusion'. Punctuation errors, such as unnecessary commas before dependent clauses ('both, became'), also detract from accuracy. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of errors places this response firmly in the band 6 category.

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