Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph tracks the information about how employment trends of the economy in the United States changed in 60 years between [redacted phone].

Overall, in 1960 manufacturing trend is the highest group among all four which was roughly remained the same till 2020. Similarly, healthcare and retail spiked up its peak crossing the level of construction by 2020. In contrast, agriculture reports to the lowest among all four career throughout the time frame.

Regarding the manufacturing, it was the largest group accounting for 15 million by 1960. Which rose up to 20 million in 1980 but showed a gradual decline and reached to 13 million by the end of 2020. While retail and medical sector spiked to its peak in 2020 accounting for 16 million which was once recorded as the lowest in 1960 at 6 million and 2 million respectively.

Turning towards the agriculture field in 1960 its employment was recorded higher than healthcare at 6 million but with time they showed a steady decline in the numbers with passing years and reached to the lowest at 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all parts of the prompt well, successfully identifying the main trends and making appropriate comparisons across the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview highlights key features, noting manufacturing's initial dominance and the eventual rise of retail and healthcare, alongside the persistent low levels of agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in the overview and details: for instance, manufacturing did not 'roughly remain the same till 2020', as it dropped significantly from 20 million to 13 million after 1980. Furthermore, retail and healthcare are confused with construction in the overview, and agriculture was actually lower than healthcare in 1960, contradicting the text. Despite these minor data interpretation errors, the overall response structure effectively reports the main visual data features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is arranged coherently with a clear overall progression from an introduction and overview to specific body paragraphs detailing individual sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to divide the information. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. There are issues with referencing and transition phrases, such as 'Regarding the manufacturing,' which is awkward, and 'Turning towards the agriculture field in 1960 its employment...' which lacks necessary punctuation and smooth linking. Cohesive devices are occasionally overused or imprecise, affecting the overall flow, but the relationships between ideas remain generally clear to the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate for a task 1 response, including terms such as 'employment trends', 'gradual decline', and 'steady decline'. However, there are several inaccurate word choices and awkward collocations. For example, 'manufacturing trend is the highest group' is unnatural, and 'medical sector' is used interchangeably with healthcare despite retail also being grouped incorrectly in that sentence. Additionally, there are minor phrasing issues such as 'spiked up its peak' and 'reports to the lowest'. The range is adequate for the task, but errors in word choice and collocation prevent it from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and contrastive connectors ('While retail and medical sector...'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, such as sentence fragments and punctuation flaws (e.g., starting a new sentence with 'Which rose up...', and 'in 1960 its employment was recorded higher than healthcare at 6 million but with time they showed...'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency also falter at times, as seen in 'agriculture reports to the lowest'. These errors occasionally cause slight friction for the reader, though they do not impede overall communication.

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