Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph below represent the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of US economy from 1960 and 2020. Overall manufacturing, reatil and healthcare are dominating, whereas agritulture is lowest in US labour market.
Firstly, Retails sector have nearly 6 millions job in 1960, whereas healthcare was at half only 3 millions jobs in same year. For both industries job trends countinusly grows, so in year 1980 healthcare numbers jump to 5 millions and retail gorw to 10 millions. Number graduly grow over the years and in 2000 retail was producing the 15 millions jobs follow by the healthcare at 11 millions. In year 2020 both were on their peak with at 15 millions jobs.
Whereas, manufacturing started realy high at 15 milions jobs in 1960, but agriculture was only at the 6 millions comapre to manufacturing was 2.5x higer. In 1980 manfacturing was highest among all at the 20 millions which is 25% growth in just 20 years, whereas argiculture was declining and only 3 million jobs in 1980. For agriculture trends countinuly
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover all four sectors, providing an overview and selecting key data points to report, such as the figures for retail, healthcare, and manufacturing. However, there are several inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that retail and healthcare were both at 15 million jobs in 2020, whereas the graph indicates retail was around 16 million and healthcare was also around 16 million, though some values are misread elsewhere (e.g., agriculture in 1960 is reported as 6 million, which matches, but manufacturing in 1960 was 15 million, not 15 millions with agriculture at 6 compared to manufacturing being 2.5x higher—math check: 6 times 2.5 is 15). Furthermore, the response trails off abruptly at the end ('For agriculture trends countinuly'). The overview is somewhat inaccurate as agriculture is not the only low sector throughout. This corresponds to a band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into paragraphs, starting with an introduction containing an overview, followed by body paragraphs. However, the progression is disrupted by mechanical and faulty cohesive devices, as well as an incomplete concluding sentence. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the links between sentences feel disjointed, particularly in the second and third paragraphs. Paragraphing is attempted but lacks sufficient development, and the abrupt ending negatively affects the overall cohesion of the text. This reflects band 5 characteristics.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting words related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'dominating', 'labour market', and 'declining'. However, there are frequent spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'reatil' instead of retail, 'agritulture' instead of agriculture, 'countinuly' instead of continually, 'gorw' instead of grow, 'graduly' instead of gradually, and 'realy' instead of really. These errors are noticeable and detract from the quality of the writing, placing it firmly at band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as using 'whereas' and 'while' clauses. However, grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors including subject-verb agreement issues ('Retails sector have'), tense inconsistencies, and awkward phrasing ('healthcare was at half only 3 millions jobs in same year'). Punctuation is also problematic in places. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and restrict the score to band 5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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