Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given line chart provide the information about about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing job has the highest job amount in 1980, after that it was declain cointinuesly. Retails and healthcare was the declaind in every year. Agriculture has the lowest in every year.
To embark with, the manufacturing job economy was the highest in 1960, by the 15 milions. It was the grow in the 1980, for the 20 milions, after that it was the totally declain in every year.Retali is the 5 milion in 1960. After that it was the rocket growth in every year. It was the stable after 2000.
On the other hand, halthcare was the major inclaind in 1960, after that it was countinusly progress in every year. It was the starting from approximately 3 milioms job, and ending with around 15 milions jobs. Agriculture was the around 5 milions in 1960. After that it was decrease in every year
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The student attempts to report the main features of the line graph, including general trends for manufacturing, retail, and healthcare. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the text states that agriculture has the lowest in every year and decreased every year, but agriculture actually started at 6 million in 1960 and dropped to 3 million by 1980, remaining stable until 2000 before falling to 2 million in 2020. Similarly, the description of healthcare states it had a 'major inclaind in 1960' when it actually started at 2 million. The overview is overly simplistic and contains inaccurate summaries like 'Retails and healthcare was the declaind in every year,' whereas healthcare grew significantly. Consequently, the response only partially addresses the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay attempts to use paragraphing to separate an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, which provides a basic structural framework. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by frequent mechanical and awkward transitions, such as 'To embark with' and 'On the other hand'. Referencing is often unclear due to pronoun and article errors ('the manufacturing job', 'the totally declain'). Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, resulting in a lack of smooth logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The student's vocabulary is very limited and heavily repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'job', 'number', 'sectors', and 'economy'. There are frequent word-form and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'declain', 'cointinuesly', 'declaind', 'Retali', 'milions', 'inclaind', 'countinusly', and 'milioms'. These lexical inaccuracies and non-standard word choices (such as 'rocket growth' and 'major inclaind') demonstrate a restricted range that causes noticeable strain for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting almost entirely of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex structures. There are persistent, dense errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, articles, and prepositions in nearly every sentence (e.g., 'The given line chart provide', 'the manufacturing job has the highest job amount', 'it was the grow in the 1980, for the 20 milions'). These frequent structural errors frequently impede communication and distort the intended meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.