Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph chart illustrate the amount of jobs such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in The United States for 60 years period from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is evident that, manufacturing had the highest share of jobs in four sector, whereas health care had a more modest growth over the years.

Looking at the data in more detail, agriculture and retail started between 2 to 5 millions jobs in 1960.They both followed a mirrored path of upward trend thoughout the mentioned period and reached its peak approximately at 16 millions of job. In 2020, retailed rose dramaticly around 11 millions of job.

In contrast, Manufacturing started with the highest number of jobs accounted for 15 to 20 millions between 1960 and 1980. However, after 1980 the popularity of manufacturing started to drop and reached below 15 millions. Similarly, healthcare was the least famous in the majority of people in the mentioned timeframe. As follows, In 1960, the health care started briefly at 6 millions and fall gradually at 2 millions jobs in 2020 thoughout the four sectors of the economy in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to cover the main trends in the four economic sectors, fulfilling the basic requirements of Task 1. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies and confusion regarding the data presented in the graph. For instance, the student states that 'agriculture and retail started between 2 to 5 millions jobs in 1960' and later confuses the trends of retail and agriculture, claiming retail rose dramatically to 11 million while completely misinterpreting the healthcare and agriculture trajectories. Healthcare is described as the 'least famous' and falling to 2 million in 2020, whereas the graph clearly shows healthcare rising significantly to 16 million. Due to these noticeable data misreadings and a lack of precise reporting, the task response is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organized into paragraphs, including an introduction with an overview and body paragraphs addressing different sectors. However, the logical progression is hindered by confusing referencing and contradictory statements. Transition phrases such as 'Looking at the data in more detail' and 'In contrast' are used, but cohesion within and between sentences is frequently faulty. For example, pronouns and references like 'They both followed a mirrored path' are confusing because the grouped sectors (agriculture and retail) actually moved in opposite directions. Paragraphing is attempted, but overall organizational coherence suffers from the factual and structural confusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with several lexical errors and inappropriate word choices. Examples include 'graph chart illustrate', 'amount of jobs', and referring to healthcare as 'the least famous'. There are also awkward collocations and imprecise terms, such as 'retailed rose dramaticly around 11 millions of job' (where 'retail' is used as a verb and the data point is inaccurate). While some topic-specific vocabulary related to the economy and employment is attempted ('sector', 'growth', 'trend'), the range is limited and inaccuracies impede clear communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is weak throughout. There are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and prepositional usage, such as 'The graph chart illustrate', 'started between 2 to 5 millions jobs', and 'fall gradually at 2 millions jobs'. Punctuation and word formation errors, such as 'dramaticly' instead of 'dramatically' and 'retailed' instead of 'retail', are also present. These errors frequently distract the reader and occasionally obscure the intended meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.