Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of employments-- retail, agriculture, healthcare and manufacturing--in four different sectors of the economy in the US over the period of sixty-year [ from 1960 to 2020 ]. The data is represented in millions.
Overall, retail and healthcare jobs experienced an upward trend, while manufacturing and agriculture followed a downward trend. It is clearly seen that employment numbers of retail and healthcare recorded the same figures.
Looking at the details, in 1960, retail jobs accounted for just above 5 million, it grew steadily and made up 15 million by 2000, then rose slightly and reached about 16 million. To compared with healthcare, which started at approximately 3 million and by 1980 it amounted to be 5 million, after four decade it represented the same figure as of retail.
It can be seen that, retail and agriculture registered identical figures in 1960. By 1980, it reached 3 million and it plateaued for next two decade and dropped slightly and reached 2 million. Moreover, in 1960, manufacturing jobs were 15 million and then hit a peak of 20 million in 1980 only to fall back at just below 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features, trends, and comparisons across the four economic sectors. The overview clearly highlights the overall upward and downward trajectories of the respective jobs. Key data points are accurately identified, such as manufacturing reaching a peak of 20 million in 1980 and the parallel end points of retail and healthcare at 16 million in 2020. There are a few minor inaccuracies or approximations in data reporting, such as stating healthcare started at approximately 3 million when it was closer to 2 million, but these do not detract from the overall clarity and completeness of the response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is arranged logically with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and detailed body paragraphs covering specific trends. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate general trends from detailed data comparisons. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'Looking at the details', and 'Moreover'. However, some referencing is slightly clumsy, such as 'To compared with healthcare' and using 'it' ambiguously in sentences like 'By 1980, it reached 3 million', where the antecedent is slightly unclear.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, utilizing terms such as 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'accounted for', and 'plateaued'. However, there are some lexical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'number of employments' instead of 'number of jobs', 'sixty-year' used as a noun phrase modifier incorrectly, and 'To compared with healthcare'. Less common lexical items are attempted, but minor inaccuracies in word choice prevent the score from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used throughout the response, including relative clauses and subordinate structures. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation slips, such as 'To compared with healthcare, which started at approximately 3 million and by 1980 it amounted to be 5 million, after four decade it represented...', which contains run-on tendencies and incorrect verb forms ('amounted to be'). Another error is the pluralization in 'after four decade'. Despite these frequent minor errors, communication is not impeded.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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