Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of employment-- retail, agriculture, healthcare and manufacturing--in four different sectors of the economy in the US over a sixty-year period [ from 1960 to 2020 ]. The data is represented in millions.

Overall, retail and healthcare jobs experienced an upward trajactory, while manufacturing and agriculture followed a downward trend. It is clearly seen that employment numbers of retail and healthcare recorded the same figures in 2020.

Looking at the details, in 1960, retail jobs accounted for just above 5 million; it grew steadily and made up 15 million by 2000, then rose slightly and reached about 16 million. To compare with healthcare, which started at approximately 3 million and by 1980 it amounted to be 5 million, after four decades it represented the same figure as that of retail.

It can be seen that, retail and agriculture registered identical figures in 1960. By 1980, it reached 3 million and it plateaued for next two decades and dropped slightly and reached 2 million. Moreover, in 1960, manufacturing jobs were 15 million and then hit a peak of 20 million in 1980 only to fall back to just below 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully covers all parts of the task by presenting an overview of the trends and reporting key data points across the four sectors over the sixty-year period. The main features are identified, such as the upward trajectory of retail and healthcare alongside the downward trends in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are minor inaccuracies in reporting specific figures; for instance, manufacturing in 2000 is read as 17 million on the graph, but the student describes it differently or groups details slightly confusingly, and agriculture in 1960 is actually 6 million, whereas the student's pronoun reference in 'By 1980, it reached 3 million' creates ambiguity regarding whether retail or agriculture is being discussed. Despite these minor cohesive and referencing confusions that affect task clarity slightly, the overall response provides a well-selected summary of the visual data, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.5 or solid 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organized logically with an introductory paragraph, an overall trend summary, and two detail paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related sectors. However, cohesion suffers at times due to ambiguous referencing. In the third paragraph, the sentence 'To compare with healthcare...' is grammatically incomplete and awkwardly linked. Furthermore, in the final paragraph, 'By 1980, it reached 3 million' follows a sentence mentioning both retail and agriculture, making the pronoun 'it' unclear until context clarifies it. Cohesive devices are attempted, but mechanical or faulty referencing prevents the essay from achieving a higher band. Overall arrangement is coherent, placing this securely in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms related to economic sectors ('manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', 'healthcare') and trend language ('upward trajectory', 'downward trend', 'rose slightly', 'plateaued'). There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, though precision is occasionally lacking, such as misspelling 'trajectory' as 'trajactory'. Word choices are generally clear enough to communicate the intended meaning without impeding the reader, qualifying the response for a Band 6.0 under lexical resource descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. The student successfully incorporates subordinate clauses and time markers (e.g., 'The line graph illustrates...', 'while manufacturing and agriculture followed...'). However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward structures, such as 'employment-- retail, agriculture, healthcare and manufacturing--in four different sectors', which is punctuationally clumsy and redundant, and 'amounted to be 5 million', which is unnatural collocation. Punctuation errors and occasional awkward phrasing persist, but these issues do not impede overall communication, placing the grammar performance at a Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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