Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the rate of employment across four sectors of the economy in the U.S from the year [redacted phone].
From the illustration we see that there was an increase in employment from 1960 to 1980 across all sector except agriculture which started with 6 million jobs and declined to about 3 million jobs. We also see that Manufacturing which happened to have created the highest number of jobs between 1960 and 1980 declined rapidly.
On the one hand, Retail and Heathcare sector increased and maintained the pace from 1960 to 2020 starting at 6 million and 2 million respectively and both ended at 16 million jobs.
On the other hand there was a major drop in Agrictulture from 1960 to 1980 and was maintained till the year 2000. it gradually declined further till 2020 creating about 3 million jobs by 2020. While manufacturing haven topped the list from the year [redacted phone] had a declined and finally rested at about 13 million jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to report the main trends over the sixty-year period. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions in the data reporting. For instance, the text states that agriculture 'created about 3 million jobs by 2020', whereas the graph shows it declined to around 2 million. Additionally, the overview is rather weak, lacking a clear summary of the overall trends (such as the massive growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in agriculture and manufacturing). The response addresses the task adequately overall, but the lack of precise data handling and a comprehensive overview keeps it at a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is arranged into paragraphs, attempting a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion-like final section. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and inappropriate in places, such as 'On the one hand' followed immediately by 'On the other hand', which misuses these contrasting phrases since the sectors discussed are not necessarily direct opposites. Paragraphing is also somewhat fragmented, with very short paragraphs that disrupt the flow of information. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'While manufacturing haven topped the list... had a declined'. These issues place this aspect of the writing at Band 5.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms related to employment and trends, such as 'employment', 'sector', 'declined rapidly', and 'increase'. However, there are several lexical errors and awkward word choices, including spelling and grammatical errors within the vocabulary itself, such as 'Heathcare' instead of 'healthcare', 'Agrictulture', and 'haven topped' instead of 'having topped'. Less common vocabulary is attempted but often marred by inaccuracies or non-standard collocations. The range is sufficient to communicate the main points, but these recurring errors restrict the score to a Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as relative clauses and subordinate clauses (e.g., 'which started with 6 million jobs and declined to about 3 million jobs'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are numerous punctuation and grammatical errors, including missing articles ('across all sector', 'in Agrictulture'), incorrect verb forms ('manufacturing haven topped', 'had a declined'), and missing commas to separate clauses. While communication is not severely impeded, the frequency of structural and mechanical errors prevents the score from reaching Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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