Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The illustrated graph depicts how quanity of employment opportunities varies across four economical sectors during the years 1960 to 2020 in the United States of America.
In the initial years of 1960s, there had been a significant rise in employment in the manufacturing industry untill next two decades . Afterwards, since the start of 21st century , it went through a decline, which continued to 2020.
The retail industry had a slow start in early years from more than five million jobs to 10 million at the end of 1980. However, a competitive incline to the manufacturing industry is clearly presented during the 2020 decade.
The rise and fall in the agriculture industry resemble to the retailing upto some extent. It took its first rise in from nearly two million and went upto more than 10 million by the end of 2000. By the end of 2020 it reached exactly to the position of retail industry.
Finally, comes the healthcare sector which had a negative perormance according the figures. In its early stages, the quantitative analysis shows that it was ahead of the agriculture sector. But the fall kept onwards to the end of 2020.
Various sectors went through positive and negative figures during the fiven years regarding the job opportunities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four sectors, but contains significant factual inaccuracies when describing the data. For example, the student states that the healthcare sector had a 'negative performance' and that its fall kept onwards to the end of 2020, whereas the visual data shows that healthcare actually experienced a dramatic and consistent rise from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. Similarly, the agriculture and retail descriptions contain confusion regarding trends and final figures. While an overview is attempted at the end, the misreading of primary data trends prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which helps establish a basic structure. However, the logical progression is weak and confused by inaccurate data reporting. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'Finally, comes the healthcare sector' and 'The rise and fall in the agriculture industry resemble to the retailing upto some extent.' Referencing between sentences is sometimes unclear, and the concluding sentence does not serve as an effective summary of the main trends. Paragraphing is present but logical flow suffers due to contradictory statements and abrupt transitions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and contains numerous lexical errors and unnatural collocations. Examples include 'quanity of employment opportunities', 'economical sectors', 'competitive incline', and 'fiven years'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, but word choices are frequently inaccurate (e.g., using 'negative performance' for an upward trend in healthcare). Spelling and word formation errors, such as 'untill', 'perormance', and 'upto', are noticeable and occasionally cause confusion, restricting the lexical score to the band 5 range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences frequently result in grammatical errors. Examples of faulty grammar include 'In the initial years of 1960s, there had been a significant rise...', 'resemble to the retailing upto some extent', and 'reached exactly to the position'. Punctuation errors, such as spacing before commas and periods, are also present. While simple sentences are generally understandable, frequent grammatical errors in verb tenses, prepositions, and collocation cause some difficulty for the reader.
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