Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provides the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy i.e Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the jobs in manufacturing sector initially rose and then fell gradually. Jobs in Retail and Healthcare sectors has shown continously rise whereas the Agriculture sector shows gradually downward trend.
in 1960 the manufacturings sector has 15 millions jobs the which rose to 20 million in 1980 and than start falling gradually to 13 millions in 2020 while the jobs in Healthcare sectors was aproximately 2 millions which increased slowely to 5 millons in 1980 after that the jobs in this sector has rose sharply and reached slightly above 15 millions in 2020.
Jobs was 6 millions in 1960 same in both retail and Agriculture sectors but the employment rate was increased in dramitically upto 15 millions till 2000 and then showed gradual increased and reched 16 millions whereas the jobs in agriculture sector decreased from 6 millions to 3 millions and than the employment rate flactuated and reached to 2 millons in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by selecting and reporting the main features of the line graph. An overview is provided, noting the distinct trends across the four sectors (manufacturing fluctuating, retail and healthcare rising, agriculture declining). Key data points, such as the peak of manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and the dramatic rise of healthcare, are appropriately cited and compared. However, there are minor numerical inaccuracies and typos in the data reporting, such as stating 'manufacturings sector has 15 millions jobs' and minor issues with year-to-data mapping in the final paragraphs. Nevertheless, the response covers all required aspects well, earning a solid Band 6.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into clear paragraphs, starting with an introduction, followed by an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'while', 'whereas', and 'after that' are used to link ideas and make comparisons. However, paragraphing and sentence-level cohesion can be mechanical or slightly abrupt, as seen in the choppy transitions within the body paragraphs. Referencing is generally clear, but the logical progression within paragraphs falters occasionally due to run-on phrasing and punctuation issues. Overall arrangement is coherent, deserving a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'sector', 'rise', 'fell gradually', and 'flactuated'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'dramitically', but these are accompanied by spelling and word-form errors (e.g., 'manufacturings', 'slowely', 'flactuated'). Word choices are sometimes imprecise, yet meaning is rarely impeded. The lexical range is sufficient for the task requirements, matching the Band 6.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing subordinate clauses with conjunctions like 'while' and 'when'. However, control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the jobs in Healthcare sectors was', 'Jobs was 6 millions'), missing articles, and spelling mistakes that affect individual sentences. Punctuation is weak, with run-on sentences lacking appropriate terminal punctuation. Despite these errors, the meaning remains mostly clear, aligning with a Band 5.5.
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