Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares the number of jobs in four different sectors of US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs increased in healthcare and retail segments of US economy, while there was a decline in the number in manufacturing and agriculture sectors between 1960 and 2020.
The number of jobs in healthcare sector significantly rose from approximately 2 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020. Similarly, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector increased gradually to 15 million in the year 2000 but followed a slight increase to just above 15 millions in 2020.
There was a decline in the number of jobs in the manufacturing and agriculture sectors over the period. There was a steady decline in the agriculture sector from 5 million to approximately 3 million from 1960 to 1980, after which the number remained constant at 3 millions. In contrast, manufacturing sector showed a gradual rise by 5 million in 1980 which eventually declined to almost 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides an overview with relevant trends and selects key features to report, satisfying the main requirements of Academic Task 1. However, there are notable inconsistencies and data misinterpretations. For instance, the second body paragraph states that the number of jobs in the healthcare sector rose from 'approximately 2 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020', which is close to the chart, but then claims manufacturing increased to 15 million in 2000 and followed a 'slight increase to just above 15 millions in 2020' (the chart shows manufacturing actually dropping to 13 million by 2020). Furthermore, the fourth paragraph contradictions emerge when discussing manufacturing again, stating it declined to 'almost 13 million in 2020'. While the general trends are captured, these data inaccuracies prevent the task achievement from reaching a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall progression and is logically arranged into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to connect points, such as 'Overall', 'Similarly', and 'In contrast', which generally guide the reader smoothly through the text. However, referencing and logical flow are occasionally undermined by repetitive and contradictory mentions of the manufacturing sector across paragraphs three and four, creating minor cohesion faults. Overall, the organizational structure is adequate and coherent.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'significantly rose', 'gradual rise', and 'remained constant'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, but these are sometimes marred by slight inaccuracies or awkward collocations, such as 'followed a slight increase' when describing a downward trajectory, and pluralization errors like '15 millions'. Nevertheless, the vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate the main ideas clearly, and spelling is generally accurate throughout the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as subordinate clauses ('while there was a decline...'). There is good control over basic grammar and punctuation, and many sentences are error-free. However, grammatical errors persist, particularly in subject-verb agreement and prepositional use, such as 'sectors of US economy' (missing article), 'decline in the number in manufacturing' (awkward phrasing), and the aforementioned plural noun error '3 millions'. These errors do not impede communication, placing the response solidly in the band 6 category for grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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